Sometimes it is easier to point the finger at others and play the blame game when things don't go as plan, or blow up like a dynamite stick. This week has been a very trying yet rewarding week both emotionally and professionally. I hope hearing my personal story will encourage you to Be Bold. Because Better Things are coming we just have to excel and breathe in.
When we purposefully begin to look for God in areas of our lives, whether in situations we can't control, decisions, how others are acting towards us, heck even just waking up in the morning. Basically, if you are breathing God is in the details of your life. God has always been into the details of our lives I just picture his office to look nothing like mine, but more like the Container Store Mixed with a Day Planner with labels and everything crisps and clean. Most of us want to hide our junk, stuff some of those details, even bury them hoping they never surface again. Because burying them is easier than facing them. Yet sometimes, God has to hold a mirror up for us and wait for us to notice. With a simple prayer, 10 years ago of God fix me. Change me completely I don't want the easy band aid kind of fix. I want you to get ever ounce of yucky out! I want the lasting fix not the quick fix. At the time, when I wrote that prayer in my prayer journal. I truly thought it would be answered with the wave of the magic wand I would be changed. Yet I didn't want my change to only last to the strike of midnight I wanted it to last until I took my last breathe.
Being a wife, mom of three, and running my own successful growing business life can become overwhelming pretty fast, and sometimes a massive juggling act. As you can imagine, I get plenty of opportunity too well go off the deep end and loose it or get worked up, and well most the time I do! I am very passionate person. Which isn't a bad thing when channeled the right way, but when a passionate person begins to channel that passion in a destructive way not only do they get hurt, but those closest around them get hurt! Passionate people are your typical go getters, I can take on the world and will defeat them all! If you had to put a phase to my childhood on how I was raised I would say it probably would have to be, "If your going to do it! Do it and Do it Big! I still think my family got robbed. We should have been the family to cash in on the "Get ur Done Campaign" !
While I love what I do more than probably any individual on earth. I see my titles as wife, mom, and Realtor more as a calling instead of a duty. It is so rewarding! However, with all I got going on, I need a little "ME TIME" ever now and then so I can distress which normally takes place at 2:45 am. Like right now, it is 1:21 am, and I am distressing and love that I don't have 8 text messages waiting on me and 29 emails, and 4 voices mails and phone ringing, and a child wanting me to cook.
Now, in case you are considering trying the "Tiffany- ME Time Way" Make sure my fellow Southern Belles remember this advice. Be aware that the chances of you going from Sweet as Pie Southern Belle to Ghetto Super star can happen before you can say "Bless your Heart". Lord, help the person who puts you on that stage.
When we buckle down and get serious about truly seeking God and looking for ways and opportunities we are going to come face to face with what He is trying to teach us. Maybe, it comes by the behavior of others in a situation, or thru being treated in a way that unnerves you to the point that normally you would be ready to bust out the can of Whoop Ass, and fire back at them. This time instead of looking in the mirror and seeing your reflection. Stop, and take time to look into the Mirror and see yourself the way God sees ya. Keep in mind, this is not your typical does my booty look good in these jeans mirror looking while throwing on your red high shoes. I am talking about its that moment you so desperately stare into that mirror, and your face is broken out and looking like a Vietnam and that dag-gone mirror is telling you everything you don't want to come face to face with mirror looking.
Its natural for us at first to become unnerved, shaken even rattled. Tonight, I came face to face with one of those Man in the Mirror moments, but God is so into the details of our lives that he began to lay the foundation for this particular lesson several years ago, and yet he held the mirror up for me in the most unlikely way. The prep work for my life in this issue had been laying out over years. Jesus was in the process of taking those ingredients to that melt in your mouth hot slice of buttered covered Banana Bread kind of finish product.
Our Saturday, started out pretty typical! With a kid busting in the room at 6:00 am.
With Kailee Grace saying, " Hey guys! You up?" Nothing like a kid to kick start your only "sleep in day" Note to self.... Lock bedroom door on Friday Nights!
Ran some errands, and chatted it up with a stranger over the phone who had called me. Little did I know, that phone call would be like the last 20 yards to the marathon finish line of taking a look into the mirror. The small talk conversation turned into a moment of do I step out and share with him what I feel lead to say? I mean really, God? I got a good thing going here! He is comfortable, conversation is going well, and you want me to be like that socially awkward person. Great! Perfect! This day keeps getting better. Maybe I need to just push the RESTART Button this day because we are not even to lunch yet!
Then I thought back on the week I had. When someone stepped up and spoke into my life and encouraged me. They had no clue that 2 days before, I had lost it on one of the girls, and then on my Momma and I was still carrying around the frustration of the unresolved issue. I was mad at myself for losing it, and frustrated that I had absolutely no control or way to fix the damage, yet had to carry on with life because there was no time for a pitty party I had to put my big girl panties on and keep on smiling and writing offers and dealing with inspections.
I want to make sure that you have a clear picture as to the magnitude of the LOST IT phrase! I mean LIKE GHETTO SUPER STAR LOST IT STEROIDS STYLE mixed in with a little bit of Hillbilly Redneck. Hopefully, that makes it clear as mud. I am sure you get what I am saying.
However, I couldn't shake it off. One, Two days go by and I decided I needed some "Tiffany Time". Finally, everyone went to sleep, and I began to chill but in a productive way. Because I was going to paint some curtains my latest pintrest find/ project. While I was listening to the sounds of the distant faded crickets sounds that resonate through the windows from outside, I knew I did some major damage to my family, and well truthfully received some as well. Still frustrated, I began to pray because I always feel better after I pray. So I started getting my Jesus on. I prayed my little booty off making sure I was dotting the eyes and crossing the Ts in my prayer, to painting red stripes on project. I so was mad at my actions from earlier in the week, yet still upset because I felt I was being wronged, and knowing I wronged them, and I had no time machine that could take me back in time so I could change my actions and reactions. I channeled my best Yoga Mindset which is a challenge because I typically am that person who gets the whole Yoga Room Laughing.
Surprisingly enough tonight, I was the Sensei of Yoga Mindset. Minus the ringing of the bell stuff they do that is suppose to calm your nerves, but scares you to death. Why they think that is relaxing is beyond me. As I watched the brush dip into the paint, and then slowly dragged the brush across the canvas making sure my strokes would be perfection. Because no one wants to end up with a Pintrest Fail. The red paint over took the fibers of the white cloth, slowly yet methodically. My Yoga Mindset was reaching it's peak I was as peaceful as the willow tree gently tossed in the wind. This was like a YOGA Milestone for me! I made it literally 15 min without my mind going 900 ways, and running through an action list of to dos. It HIT ME like a ton of bricks. I don't need to have the perfect prayer, this is not on my shoulders, I can't fix this situation. Heck, I can't fix half the things I try to fix, but with each stroke I was reminded of who could fix this mess, and it became clear to me what I had to do.
So I said, "God, you sent your son and while I am painting red stripes on this cloth. It is astonishing how the red is overtaking the cloth covering ever fiber. I am reminded that your word is clear and says, " By His Stripes I am Healed" You showed me unspeakable grace. I didn't deserve it, and yet you gave it to me freely. Why do I not do that for others?
OH MY STARS! Seriously???? It's that simple! With the Red Stripes I just painted glaring back at me as if they were the air-stripes runway flare lights shining bright to guide the pilots in for landing. Two seconds later...this phrase popped into my mind. Your Kingdom COME, and Your Will be DONE. It seemed to simple. Could those eight words be the landing spot I needed to land on? By uttering those words, I was becoming the co-pilot and putting God in the pilot seat. I was giving myself permission to not fix it, and removing the pressure, anxiety and fear that I was facing.
I just knew I could not hold back, what if...the man on the other side of the phone talking truly needed to be encouraged? I couldn't hold back anymore, I dove right in and began to share with him.
Now, if that wasn't enough. Literally six hours later, I was finishing up a deal, and as most of us know, buying a home and selling a home can be an emotional process. Usually, those that become the most emotional and well basically go off the deep end, or are on the edge of the cliff ready to jump, until we Realtors help calm them down are the buyers and sellers. Heck! I was one of those emotional buyers myself. For most Americans its the largest purchase they will ever make. If that is not enough pressure in itself. Normally, buying and selling a house is not all that is going on in a persons life.
So you can imagine my surprise, when I had a Realtor literally loose his well.... you know what I am talking about. At first, my natural reaction was...." OH NO HE DIDN'T... Has this man lost his ever lasting mind!!!???!! Normally, it would take me 2.4 seconds to unleash the Southern Belle Red Neck Hillbilly Ghetto Super Star you messed with the wrong chick.
Something switch to the earlier conversation I had with the stranger, and remembering the advice I had freely given earlier. I had a choice I was starring in the Mirror on the Wall. What would I decide to have staring back at me? Ghetto Super Star Hot Mess, or would I try to show Grace and look more like an enchanted sweet fairy.
Now don't get me wrong! I am not Mother Teresa over here. I went from being a little angry bird venting to Cort, pacing, and smiling trying to channel my Yoga Mindset and not allow him to pull me into his emotional party. Yet I was determined, to not be pulled into the Crazy Cycle this time. So I made sure, I didn't get pulled in.
Changing normally is a process and takes time and patience and a don't quit attitude. While I would love to say I got the easy pass and BOOM! I got it. I know I have a long road ahead. But just like I was determined to look into that Mirror today. I am going to be purposeful as Michael Jackson lyrics say it best.. in his song
Man in the Mirror . Don't forget, Tackle each day, if I fall down. I will shake it off and stand back up because change and being who God has created you to be brings freedom!
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
My Two Cents: Stop Take a Look, Decided is the Change Worth it for you? To have real change you have to give something up! Send up a prayer knowing that patience persistence and perseverance is required to make that change!
