Do I say Yes or NO.... That is the Question!
Today, I had a chance/ opportunity that would
have been really good for me. Yet, in my heart I knew that the time associated
with it would only pull me away from my focus- My Family. Don’t get me wrong I came home trying to
figure out how it would or could work because the opportunity is something that
does not presences itself every day.
After giving myself a headache of what if’s or could this be it…
questions. I called my husband. With the
wisdom of Solomon, he reminded me of our family goal, and I knew even though this was
not a bad thing to be involved with it probably was something I was going to
need to pass on so in the end I could say yes to the best.
Sometimes, I think God gives us a chance to say no to
something that is good so that later we can say yes to the best. What I mean when I say that is…. As mom’s all of us sign up at the beginning of
the year to be a part of the PTO. Then we sign our kids up for sports, dances, balancing work, being involved in bible studies.
All of these things are great things to be involved with UNTIL they
start taking time away from what should be our TOP priority our families. But
we could even take this a step further, as women we think we can volunteer, keep adding on more things for our families to do because this is what we do we get involved, and we keep this pace up until we eventually wear ourselves out and our families.
Kailee told me last week, Mommy our schedule is too busy we are not spending time as just a family. With the rain pouring down today. I am a little relieved that soccer got canceled because I am circling up the wagons and hunkering down for a night, I have a pot of chili cooking, and can't wait to tell the girls that we are going to be able to relax tonight. Oh wait! Darn- I forgot Rielly has drama, that ends at 6:00 and then we can relax! :)
So my two cents today is this:
When something exciting presents itself to you whether it is
to join a new club, go out with some girlfriends, or volunteering more at your
child’s school. STOP! Truly evaluate what you are trying to accomplish as a
family or even personally. Do you want see those goals you desire to come forth in your life? If the
answer is Yes, then it is time to take a hard look at what you are saying YES
to. WE cannot let our minds beat us up
by saying, “You know you can do that!”
Instead, we must learn what is truly important and how we can protect
our time to make sure we can accomplish it. Trust me here girls, I am preaching to the choir because I own the shirt and the front place parking sign with my name on it as OVER COM MITER! But with every new day I begin to learn more and hear more and understand that when I quickly jump in I rob another person from what is the BEST for them.
My Two Cent’s of The Day:
Just because you are asked to do something. Does not mean you need to
volunteer to do it! Learn to say no to
the good so you can say yes to the best!
Love y’all
Tiffany
JUST LOVE
JUST LOVE.
Cort likes to joke around and call me Dr. Bethmann because
anytime the kids or he is not feeling good I have some type of “advice or know what they need to do to feel better”. The saying goes something like this...What would “Tiffany” the expert do? Now don’t get me wrong 8 out of 10 times I
am right. I mean that is why they have to ask the "expert" But that is not the point. Ok….
OK… So, I will admit it to you girls that I am wrong more than I would like to admit. But SHHHhhhh I do not want this to get back to Cort and the girls! I like being the "Family Expert"
However tonight, I am filled with joy and tears all at the
same time. Because when we meet people and love them where they are there is no
need for advice and/or check off list. I
want to encourage each all of us chicks to keep stepping out in faith, and
speak with compassion. Allowing the love of God to flow through you and meet
people where they are at in life. Trust me! It is not an easy thing. Especially,
if you are like me and you always think you have the answer, BUT you can bet your bottom dollar that GOD WILL
ALWAYS do something BIG! When WE get out’ the way!
All God ask us to do is to JUST LOVE. It
does not take a rocket scientist to
just love. When we truly show love to people through our words, and our
actions, and we are staying out of the way then we are just loving, and
allowing God to move in.
You know Nike was
onto something in my opinion, when they launched one of the most recognized marketing
slogans of all times- The Just Do IT slogan. I do not know but I am thinking if we could
take that little check mark and mark it down that we are going to JUST DO IT.
We might see people opening new chapters in their lives and walking through to
gain some of their promises.
So I leave you with
my two cent’s worth tonight…
Just Do It! Spread the LOVE, and mark it down that this little hillbilly chick loves you! Love y'all!
Tiffany
Find Time To Flirt A Little!
Summertime always brings back memories of the pool and
having the sunkisssed skin, and having those big blow ups to float around in the pool on. Back in the Summer of 1997, I met the most amazing hot sexy lifeguard with one glance my heart melted. I would rate it up there with watching the Top Gun volley ball scene. You know what I am talking about ladies! Those hot bodies of Mavrick, Goose and Ice man on that hot summer day! I had been asked by my mom, but really with no other option but to do what she had asked to take my sister and some of our friends to the pool. Of course, I was a little aggravated because like most
women and girls I was not too excited to be having to put the dreaded bathing
suit on. After, trying at least ten suits and checking myself out in the mirror nothing seemed to be looking like I wanted it too. Finally, I settled on the black one with the mesh at the top.
Jamie my little sister’s friend had a membership to this pool called Robindale. The neat thing was that she could have guest come for free. So we loaded up my Saturn which looked more like a
clown mobile due to all the pool bags, noodles and people situated inside. Finally, we made the 15 minute drive to the pool and we all began to unload fast and make our way in.
I began to take a step into the pool floor and as I was walking down the stairs my eye’s met the lifeguard on duties eyes. I thought to myself look-- Oh girl look at that body. I must be staring at a body of a god. Then, could not believe I decided on the bathing suit I had chosen. But before the girls settled on a seat where we would have our stuff. I quickly went into strategic thinking mode, I was able to convince
everyone we should set our stuff on the right side of the pool because it looked like the sun was hitting over there better. Well, at least that is what they all thought, but I was setting it up to where at some point he would have to speak to me, and well at the least notice me. Now the funny odd thing is that I did not want to date him at all, I just wanted to know in my mind that I still had it going on because at this point I was trying to instill confidence in myself.
It did not take long at all. He started drumming up
conversation with me and smiling and joking with me. He mentioned he would be
off the stand in about 20 minutes. Hmmm I started thinking to myself about 5
minutes before he was to get off the stand, I would like to become better friends with this guy. So I was able to get a boys vs girls
game of keep away going, Brilliant plan might I ask because as soon as he got
off he jumped in and joined in and happened to guard me. Well, for those of you who know me well I love
some good ole’ fashion competition. Turned out he was competitive by nature as
well. We laughed giggled and had a blast! It was at that moment that I developed the best friendship of my life.
Now I am proud to announce I have been married to that hot
sexy life guard for 11 years now. I am in love with him more today than the day I promised to love him through the good and the bad. He is still my best friend Now don’t get me wrong like every marriage we
have had seasons of not loving each other, thinking man this should get easier,even to the point of planning escape plans. Yet, despite the tough times we have both stayed the course and decieded that there is absolutely NO OTHER SPOUSE for us on the face of this earth. You can mark it down that I would never ever be able to love another human being the way I love this man.
I
have been thinking a lot over the past two weeks about my husband and how crazy
our lives are with the girls schedules, and then I just got off the phone with
one of my girlfriends who was telling me how she desperately needed a date
night with her husband just could not figure out when to do it because of the kids
schedules. I totally understood where she was coming from with busy schedules. I started thinking back to how busy I was when I meet Cort. I was
going to school full time, working full time and dealing with everything a
single mom has on her plate. I thought
to myself..... You know it is all about priorities. I have to make sure my life priorities are looking like this: GOD, CORT, and then the Girls.
When Cort and I started to date we made a way found a way to
see eachother. Well, nothing is
different now sure we have both walked through life and it has brought us seasons of joy and hurts for us, but the
same is still true. I love Cort, and I want to be the women he loves and cherishes
and enjoys coming home to. So to do that and be that for him I am going to have to purpose in my heart to campout on this for a moment. I
am about to become very vulnerable and transparent because I feel as if others
lives will be touch by me becoming a glass house.
I have not always been great at respecting my Cort. If truth be known, I probably fail at it more times than any other women would and should. Sure
I thought I respected him, but my definition of respect and his definition did
not always see eye to eye, and still don't always see eye to eye. Instead of “submitting” to his idea I tend to let him know his was wrong and mine was right. By either giving him those "Go to H- E- DOUBLE L eyes, or just out flat yelling and getting angry, and letting him know how he did not love me. Don’t judge me!!! You know you have done it
also. I spent years praying for God to
resurrect his love for me and take back the words I said that caused him
hurt, and bring down the walls that were put up to protect him. See ladies, the one thing I did not
realize is that praying to change him and not truly focusing in on trying to change me still kept my tongue and my words for bringing the healing for him and I. Instead of using my words to build Cort up, I
did the exact opposite. I am so grateful to say that my husband is truly a
godly man because despite the hurt I caused him he stuck and stayed. I am humbled by that kind of sacrifice and loyalty he has for me.
Lately, I am learning that it is not Cort that needed the
changing it is me. Years of hurt that we both had to walk through from choices that others brought into our lives and some of our own doing. I am learning that the heartbeat of my family is me. Oddly
enough, when I push through and try to bring positivity into the house our
family functions better. I have had to come with the grips that I will mess up I am not perfect, I had to give myself permission that I will screw up and God will put back the pieces. All I have to do is begin to get my priorities back in order, and well at least give it a try even if I totally mess it up!
I have started asking
God why is it that we women have to be the ones that keep everyone going and
happy, and it hit me today when I was praying on my armor with the girls, and putting on my sassy
breast plate of righteousness this morning. I felt this in my spirit… “You are the heart
of this family, Cort is the head.”
Driving back I started thinking about that the heart of this family, and
not the head. I started talking it out. Praise God! That people looking in my car probably thought I was on the speaker phone, or else they would have looked for the nearest "funny farm" to sign me up for. I know I am not the head of this family
I mean why I would think that I am. I
started realizing that over the past 5 years I had mentally put myself in the
mindset of making sure I provided and everything that needed to work out I
would make it happen no matter what the cost, I began to recall the things I thought in my mind and how I stopped being the person who pumped life into my family with my words, and had become the source that sucked the life out of our family by letting the stress effect me. See Cort's shoulders are a lot tougher and can hold a lot more than mine ever will. The heart is the vital organ that keeps the blood flowing. We as women keep the blood flowing. Kailee told me this past Saturday, "Mommy when you were yelling Go girl! You can do it! It made her proud and want to score more goals. She ended up scoring 7 goals." That is just one example of pumping the blood into the family!
As women our jobs whether we are working or staying at home
should be creating a safe haven for our families to be in. Our homes are those
safe havens. You better believe I took time this morning to pray through this house and ask God to create a safe haven and help me to be the heart that functions well and not put my family in cardiac arrest. It is our jobs to be the one to breathe life into our kids and
pump them up with joy and encouragement just like it is for us to do that for
our marriages.
I want to challenge all of us for the next couple of months
to start being the heart beat of our marriages and begin to pumping NEW LIFE into them by bring some
FRESH love. So over the next couple of months start flirting with your man. I
use to think it was Cort’s job to be romantic and flirt with me. Don’t get me
wrong I married Romeo himself, but when you show your man that he is still your
Knight and your Romeo you are sending him the message of you are loyal to him
and him alone.
Here are a couple of
ways/suggestions that when our schedules are full with kids and life how you
can begin to flirt with your man.
1. 1. Send him
a “visual Invitation” Maybe it is a picture of the shower, your car, or your bedroom, it could even be the restaurant your family is going to tonight. Just simple send the picture and text him. You
+ Me = Tonight
2. 2. Catch him off guard and share with him a desire a dream even the word we ladies tend to never say: A FANTASY. You could start it off like.......If money
was not an option, I would take you to Jamaica and kiss you under the waterfalls and wrap my body up in your arm........... Who
knows what kind of laughs and giggles and dreams you will come up together
with.
3. 3. If your husband comes home after it is late,
maybe simple have a note on the door he enters saying. “You are my hero! Thanks
for working”
4. 4. Another fun and easy thing to do is make a
coupon book that they can redeem even if you are with the kids.
A.
Massaging your feet
B.
You watch the football game and I will make your
favorite: ________________
C.
You + Me watching a movie you pic
No matter what girls! Do not let the enemy tell you that you
have no time to date your husband because that is a LIE. We are creative human beings, and think back
to when you first met your man. You flirted with that hot man that you now call your husband. So why on earth would you not flirt with him and “date” him that
way now. I know for some of you this might be hard. But girls get in touch with that "wild spontaneous side" :) LOL Just remember that your husband is worth
finding time for.
My two cent’s of the day is: FLIRT WITH YOUR MAN, and Be
Creative When you flirt with him you are making deposits in his love account and you will be creating a healthy relationship and pumping life back into the family and not only will you both reap the benefits BUT your whole family will.
I love you girls! Have a blast flirting!
Tiffany
Develop A Morning Routine for your Kids!
I have always tried to teach My Girls to Command Their Mornings! Chaise and Kailee told me this school year they want to do the "Chailee Morning Devotions". So on mornings that they have something they want to share we share it.
The most important thing we can do as parents for our children's is teach them to Command Their Mornings. What I mean by that is we have to help them develop a routine. We must lead by example even on those days we would rather just put the radio on and drive quietly! I can promise you with three girls our drive to school is not all butterflies and warm fuzzy. Don't get the wrong impression that our family is perfect.We had a morning last week that our car ride could have been a episode on the Jerry Springer Show:
This is how it went.....
Rielly started barking orders at us to get in the car because she was going to be late. By the time I got all of them in the car I was looking for my Clear Mood just so I could drive the car. Kailee and Rielly had been at each other all morning. Chaise was acting like she was St. Mary Claire and the perfect child which was making them all fume more. Finally, After I gave them a good old fashion yelling at and telling them I could not wait for them to ride the bus. I realized I had to get off the merry-go-round of craziness and get us back on track. Which you can imagine at this point was far from easy. So we went into the morning prayer.
Kailee prayed. Then, Rielly prayed in a quiet voice. So Kailee got on to Rielly telling her a prayer is not worth praying if I can't hear it. So we had a battle between sisters. I played referee for a brief moment then we went back into praying. Chaise wrapped it up!
The point of sharing that with you is letting you know. We all have those mornings when nothing goes right, we all fight, BUT the important thing is to teach them no matter what we get it done!
When you start praying as a family. There will be things that try to prevent that prayer or routine from happening. Please know, when you try to put routines in places everything will happen to try not to let that occur. You have to push through and Ask Yourself these questions: Do my kids hear my voice? How am I raising kids to seek Him First? If I am not willing to push through, why would they want to push through?
As for The Bethmann Family. Our girls know every morning we are going to do these 2 things no matter what happens!
1. Put the Armor of the Lord On
2. When they walk out the door of my car. I roll it down and say, "Girls, make wise choices today!"
The other day when I picked Rielly up from school she said, " Momma, the principal asked me if you say Make wise choices to me every morning? " Then she got a big grin on her face and said, "I told him every morning. I hear it!"
While they might act like they are embarrassed. You are letting them know you care about them enough to put a plan and daily routine in to place.
Our kids are in school all day. What impression are we leaving on our kids? Maybe it is a quick! You're a Champion!
So my two cent's of the day is: I want to encourage all of you to start from a very young age and develop your children into little Champions! Let's give them those routines they can count on happening no matter what the drive to school ends up being.
The Storm is Out Ranked
One of my favorite things to do is to curl up on the sofa with a blanket when a Rain Storm comes blowing in. Yesterday, I got to spend time chatting with a precious friend of mind. This is a lady who has biggest heart I have ever seen, loves deeper than anyone. I have the upmost respect for this lady because I watched her walk through a storm that would destroy most women. However, she faced this storm head on. God never promises us that when we go through storms we will not get a little wet, but he does promises us that we are more than a conquers and overcomers.
I must say one way that I feel the enemy attacks us women is in our self-confidence and we buy into the lie of we are not worthy. Let’s be honest ladies, we are told through advertising that to be beautiful we have to be a size 2, have perfect little body and breast that would cover the centerfold of the play boy magazine, and always have our make up on. So I am going to be transparent with you all right now. Last September, I went through some major depression, I started gaining weight and got up to be what I call a tight 8, but the stores and clothes call a size 10. Don’t judge me! You know you have in some point of your life had the muffin top going on! I began to lose my identity of who I was as a person, doubt my gifts, my calling, and if I was beautiful, and if that was not enough. Cort was going through his own struggle trying to find a job and that struggle continued for 10 months. I had strapped on my back the weight of providing for my family which was an overwhelming feeling because I had moved our family out of what we knew as home.
Now in the bible there is a story of a King Ahab and Queen Jezebel. King Ahab told Jezebel that Elijah the prophet of God had killed all the false prophets. So like any women who feels her kingdom is under attack sent a message to Elijah saying. Excuse me, but you better get ready because I am coming to get you and by this time tomorrow you will be meeting your maker.
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life and headed for the wilderness and found a cave and decided to pray that life was too hard and it would be better for him to die. He told the Lord. “I have had enough, Take my Life” Elijah had his own pity party. If he had his own boom box I am sure he would be singing, Help by Lionel Richie because of the weight he was feeling. I do not know about you, but I can totally relate to that because I can honestly tell you there was a time of depression in my life when I thought it would be better finical for my family if they could cash in on my life insurance policy. But let me stop there by saying the Lord reminded me. I love you! “Get up and eat on my word”
God allowed for the next several months to allow me to gain my strength, to get my identity back in Him. Through the STORM HE is LORD. Christ alone is our Corner Stone through the Storm. It is through the STORMs that he begins to restore our plans, our confidence in ourselves. HE reminds us of what he says and what He has in our lives.
Christ alone is who we can call on when the waves of life come crashing down on us. He speaks to each one of us and says, “My daughter, I have been here the whole time why are you trying to run from this storm. I am on board so you can rest in knowing this small rain storm is so out ranked."
Just like Elijah we might feel overwhelmed by the harsh words or actions of others and want to go run and hide in a cave, but the truth is ladies we have to rest and know that it is not that loud voice that tells us all the common lies we women buy into. But we have to get out of the Cave of Pity. Elijah had to trust God and get out of the cave. We have to trust God and listen to His voice. We have to train ourselves to listen to that whisper of truth. Instead of the screams of lies. It is time to put our best high heels on and face our fears head on, start believing we are beautiful. It was not in the wind, not in the firer, or the earthquake, but God reminded Elijah in the Whisper. Elijah knew without a doubt God was close.
Just like Elijah we might feel overwhelmed by the harsh words or actions of others and want to go run and hide in a cave, but the truth is ladies we have to rest and know that it is not that loud voice that tells us all the common lies we women buy into. But we have to get out of the Cave of Pity. Elijah had to trust God and get out of the cave. We have to trust God and listen to His voice. We have to train ourselves to listen to that whisper of truth. Instead of the screams of lies. It is time to put our best high heels on and face our fears head on, start believing we are beautiful. It was not in the wind, not in the firer, or the earthquake, but God reminded Elijah in the Whisper. Elijah knew without a doubt God was close.
I have been reminded of what the Lord has called me to be, I am to be a Poured out Vessel speaking with strength helping others, loving on others. I know without a doubt there are things God wants to do through me. I have gone through a lot of Storms in my life, and I will probably face many more.
When Cort and I were first married we went through a storm that meteorologist would have to classify as a Tsunami of the century. I am here to tell you with every fiber of my being that you can face and go through all life's storms. You can overcome self-consciousness, debt, your children running from God, or anything else this life has to throw at you.
God never left Elijah in the Cave. He was overwhelmed and needed a break, but he never left Elijah during his storm. God knows we are human and we need to have our pity parties and hang out in our caves and take what we call at our house "me time".
When my baby girl, Chaise starts to get overwhelmed which is easy to do when she has her daddy’s personality and Rielly, Kailee and I have the same type of loud outgoing personalities. I know the best thing to do for her is get her away from everyone. Chaise simply looks at me and says, “Mommy, I need me time. God gives us that time alone whether we verbal ask for it or we subconsciously choose it.
This past year while I felt as if I was dying on the inside because I doubted what God was doing. God was giving me "me time". All along God had everything worked out to the tee? God will never forsake us. He never leaves us. He stands patiently, and when we decide to trust him through the storm no matter if we come out drenched in the rain. We stand there overwhelmed that is when he softly and gently begins to remind us of WHO we are. IT is in the STORMS. He says, " Peace Be Still. I got this. Trust me. We are going here. No storm is too big." He will begin to whisper over us, “You are beautifully and wonderful made, you were raised up for such a time as this.”
I am telling you when you get a hold of God and what he has to say you are through Him. You better mark it down you are attending the pep rally of the century. I have learned in the past 3 months that Jesus can throw a pep rally. He makes us strong. He reminds us that He is actively involved in our lives.Trust me, I know life can become overwhelming at times, and those of you who know me well. I cry my fair share of tears, BUT know this no amount of debt, family situations, or any type of frustrations you are facing YOU will overcome you when you Make Christ your focus and allow for him to OUT RANK your STORM you are facing.
I once was told that you can take a moment and have a “Pity Party” however that Pity Party can only go on for 3 days then you have to get up, make a plan and put your big girl panties on. Keep in mind that God is not surprised by any storm, negative words that others use against you.
So my two cents of the day is. You can choose to buy into fear and keep your eyes on the storm, or know that when you are on Board with Jesus that storm is out RANKED!
Love y’all!
Tiffany
Tiffany and Cort take on a Mount Everest
THE VALLEY OF
DELIVERANCE
9 months ago my family set out on what we thought would be
an easy journey for our family. We decided to move closer to home state so our
kids would have grandparents around them. It was amazing how God worked out every detail out. However, what Cort and I thought
would be a walk in the park journey turned out to be a more like a hike to
Mount Everest and through a valley of deliverance.
Cort spent 8 months looking for a job, and had to subject
himself to another bar exam. The good news is that I married a brilliant man
who passed the TN bar on his first try! Neverless, being licensed as a
practicing attorney in two states did not speed the job hunt up any faster. While on top of that, moving back to our home
state brought back open wounds of hurt that I had never dealt with.
And if that was not enough, our girls were facing trails at
school and being “home sick” for Texas. To say our family was walking through a
tough time would be an understatement to our family. Instead of dwelling on all of the things we walked
through. I want to rejoice that our GOD has brought us some deliverance just
when we thought we could not go any further.
Well get ready because this proud DAUGHTER of the KING OF
KINGS is about to give her ABBA FATHER some GLORY! I want you to know these past two weeks have
been a fresh breath of air to our family. Cort received a job offer and is in
the middle of finalizing the offer. We placed a contract to build a brand new home zoned for the High School
Rielly wanted to attend. I remember
writing on my white board in my office. ENJOY THE JOURNEY back in Dec. 2011. At that time, I wanted to do
everything, but enjoy the journey. I wanted to escape into never never land
more like it. While, I can’t say that I
enjoyed ever trail and want to jump up and do spirit hands. I know that this
past year has been a year of being faithful even when things seem not to be
going well. It is easy to praise God when things are good, but the true testing
of our faith comes when we face times of sorrow and trials. But I am here to testify that MY GOD IS
FAITHFUL! We never went without a meal. We always paid our bills. HE BLESSED US
when I was ungrateful and angry at him for bringing me back to TN. Yet through it all GOD BLESSED US!
I truly am a daughter who is blessed more than she deserves.
I am rich beyond measure. I have a husband who is full of integrity and loves
me. I watched Cort time and time again
make lemonade out a situation most would just stand looking at the lemons in
their hands. Now don’t get me wrong,
there were dark days of depression that Cort walked through. Yet he never gave
up and kept pushing on. Cort showed our daughters and me what it meant to NEVER
GIVE UP and pushed through a time that was mentally wearing on a man. He taught his wife and girls with his actions a
lesson I pray we never forget. My girls
know now that the BETHMANN’s never give up no matter what.
The bottom line is God brought me through a valley of
deliverance, I have a man who loves me, three
beautiful girls who know who Jesus is. The rest of the blessings in our lives
are just icing on the cake!
My two cents for you today is…. So never give up. Believe
and keep on pushing, because GOD is faithful. Sometimes we need the valleys in
our lives so HE can get us ready for the mountain HE is about to place us on.
Thank you Jesus for being Faithful when I did not deserve
your grace, and thank you for a husband that never gives up!