Far from a 'kumbaya'Family

5 personalities, 4 girls, 1 handsome man, and a cute little fur ball is what our family is made up of.  Each family is made up with different personalities, strengths, birth orders and weakness.  When one of us hurts the others hurt. When one wins we all celebrate.  When entering our doors  you might feel as if you  enter a firework show rather than a calm campfire scene setting around roasting marshmallows singing Kumbaya my Lord.  While most people would take Cort as a quiet a man of little words, I have had the pleasure from day one to get to see the side that he only allows few to know.

 Cort Bethmann is the funniest man I have ever met in my life. He leads with wisdom and strength, and when it comes to competition it is on!  My girls are very different. Rielly has always been mature way beyond her years, has the most giving and loving spirit. She is very reserved and tends to follow in her daddy’s footsteps of watching you and assisting you before allowing you in. Once she feels you will not hurt her.  Chaise is very sweet she is our middle child and is very territorial over her things. I am always amazed at the deals she works up with her sisters. She tends to be the “money bags” of the family.  I love watching her and Rielly when the come up with an idea. Rielly pitches the idea, and approaches Chaise for a loan. Chaise comes up with what she will need to have in return for her investment and they both come out on top. Kailee Grace is the youngest of the family. Let’s just say that little bit has three mommies, and keeps us all on our toes. Rielly and Chaise tell her all of the time she has Jedi-mad skills of getting out of trouble and can get me laughing. Buddy the dog is the newest addition. God never gave me a son of my own flesh so I got a male dog. I figured it was a good trade, and would be easier on my body. To say I love my family is an understatement. These are the 5 people I would take a bullet for; jump in a train for would give my last breath to.  While we might not be perfect, God brought us together to be the Bethmanns.

You hear it a lot that two first borns together makes life a little difficult sometimes. Why is that?  Well, being a first born married to a first born, and having a first born, middle and baby in the family I have been asking God to show me how to use our strengths as firstborns as strengths instead of weakness.

Typically, if you are a first born you will tend to be a “little” bossy. I stress “little”.  I mean you see yourself  as smarter and better than others and well no one can do it to your level, and statics prove that they are  typically are the movers and shakers. We also tend to be the perfectionists of the world, just a personal opinion but I think it is because we did not pop out of the womb holding the parenting book. We are the lab rat tester for our parents.  Having my own first born and knowing the level I hold her too I 100% believe this to be true. 

We tend to have a running joke in our home with our oldest daughter Rielly. She loves watching Nanny 911 and has the British accent down, and all her parenting techniques down. She tends to crack me up when she bust out as my personal Nanny teaching me how to raise the girls.   Rielly tells Cort and me all the time that we do not hold the other two girls to the level that she was/ is held too.  I love being out in public and Rielly start talking about how “WE” (Cort, her and me) are raising the two little girls.  I will tell you yes I have slacked the more kids I get because you learn that some things just are not that big of a deal as you thought.  While we do most of the parenting, being the oldest in my family and having a little sister. I do understand that the two other girls do want to be like their oldest sister.  Since Rielly was six she has been a role model to the other girls, and honestly walks out that calling very well. While no one is perfect she does try her best to give advice and does a great job helping us out.

So with three first borns in the house we tend to have three natural born leaders, which means we have three different ideas and we all think we are right.  It amazes me that the child that is the same birth order as you tend to clash more with.  So even though Cort and I to be like two sheep butting heads due to those natural personalities and traits of being first borns, I would not trade it for the world. I love the way Cort leads, and how as a first born you have this feeling of needing to establish your territorial right.

So while we will probably never have the kumbaya family. I know with every fiber in my being we are all in this family because He has a plan. So I started asking God what verses do I pray. We can’t change birth orders, our family is our family.  Rielly says our family motto is: "Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind - or forgotten."  

I really started thinking about that this morning after dropping her off at school. We are all part of Go’'s family and each one of us has a birth order, traits, and personality, and no matter how crazy it gets God tells us we are his Ohana! Nothing we do can ever take us out of his hands. No one, no thing can pluck us from his hands. Not even anything we do. I know that I have not been the perfect Christian, wife or mother. Yet nothing can remove me out of the Bethmann Family, or the Family of God. Today, I felt lead to let you each know that there is absolutely nothing you can do that will take your spiritual birth right. While you might think, “Oh my if they knew this about me…. They would not accept me. Well, I want you to know that is nothing but a lie from the enemy. 

I remember a time in my life I had to call my husband up scared to death to let him know what I was dealing with, but opening up the lines of communication and sharing what I was going through brought about freedom for me and even for him.  It really ticks me off that so many of us believe the lies of the enemy that we cannot let our family know because I will look like a failure or they will view me as a weak person.  When in reality, not opening up and asking for help from someone family member or friend you are staying in prison. 

I want to shout it from the roof tops. God gives you opportunities to get out of what you are trapped in, however if we allow pride and fear to paralyzes we might miss out on the best He has for us. I don’t know who this is for today, but I feel very strong to let you know.  "Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind - or forgotten."  Nothing you do, say will ever take you out of your earthly or physical family. Do not believe the lie. Walk in your freedom today. Remove the Yuck that has a grip over you. 

I know it is hard to admit when you do something that is something that goes so against every fiber of your being.  When I say I have walked out that process I have walked it out. More than I would ever like to admit. The one thing I have learned is the longer you let it linger the deeper the wound to heal. While fear and the lies of the enemy will try to keep you paralyzed you have to take the stance of a first born. Whether you are a firstborn, baby or middle child in your family, in the kingdom of God, You are a first born! You are strong, you are a leader, you have the ability to push through and come up on top.

So my two cent’s today is:

 Stand Firm on these verses….God wants to bring Healing, yet you get a choice today. Will today be the day of Freedom for you?  Remember "Ohana means family. Family means no one is left behind - or forgotten."  

John 8:7     When they persisted in asking him questions, he straightened up and said, "The person who is sinless should be the first to throw a stone at her."

This gives you the peace in knowing. We all sin and no one is without sin. Rest in the Peace!! 

Gal. 5:1      It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Check out this song: It is one I love and very close to my heart. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mXeA0G_xKc

Forgiveness. Food. Freedom Are you Serious these GO together?

Forgiveness. Food. Freedom. The 3 F- words we have a love hate relationship with. Agree? Well,

Last Night at our table the discussion was a very interested one. I had made a meal that all three girls were less than thrilled to eat. Salmon, creamed garlic cauliflower and steam broccoli.  Instead, hearing the praises of the meal I slaved over.  My beautiful meal was greeted with comments of YUCK what is this? Do we have to eat this? I want something else.  

Cort and I have been on a journey together we had decided back in July of 2012, after we got in the new house we would be getting ourselves back in shape.   I had heard this phrase several times. If nothing changes nothing changes.

So in January we kicked of a 24 Day Challenge with some of our friends. I have done several 24 day Challenges already alone, but this journey together has been both wonderful, but also in a weird way a spiritual experiences.  While we are both very very competitive with each other and well just in general like to win!   So we all set up a little wager. Whatever couple loses less has to sing Karaoke.  Well, let’s just say singing on stage is not my talent and no way are Cort and I going to lose. Just to give you a little insight on The Bethmann competitiveness when we have family game nights we divided up and let’s just say we have TEAM NAMES. Chaise and I are normally teamed together. We dubbed ourselves and have the team name of “TEAM WINNERS”!   While, normally Rielly, Kailee and Daddy join forces and well… that is that. Who is really counting if they tend to beat us more than we beat them? I am not I take the stance what you speak you will become!

However, today Cort and I finished our herbal cleanse together. I am proud to announce that we are both seeing HUGE results, but that the results go pass weight lost for me.  I have already dropped 10 pounds, but I will tell you that God has done more than that and I want to share what I truly feel God wants to do for several people.

With those 10 pounds that have come off, in a strange way each pound represented a pain that I have dealt with. It was if I was hiding under the weight and trying to hide from dealing with the hurt.  While physically, I had a pressure washing experience going on in my digestive track. In the heaven God was ready to take me to a new level of healing. While healing for some comes in a miracle form all done at once. God is having me walk it out.

While most couples get their first year as what they call a Honeymoon phase, we both were faced as newlyweds, and on the third day of our Honeymoon. We were both  at a young age of 20 with a baby girl caught up in a tornado experiences. If you have ever had to deal with Betrayal you will know and be able to relate to the feelings that come from that experiences, but manifest themselves years down the road.  I can’t tell you how many times I would hear people say, “Tiffany, you have to forgive them.”  I wanted to scream at them. Seriously, do you think I don’t know that. I can’t tell you how many times I have written in my journal healing for them, forgiveness, even asking God to bless them with a 100 folds, but with that being said. Forgiveness is a process for so many people, and I am amazed how so many times we as Christians do not show grace to those walking through it.  Seriously, I mean think about this…. Jesus was ultimately betrayed by me. He took on my sins, and yours. Do you know that with the story of redemption and the cross I have not once heard one preacher ever say forgiveness even for our Messiah was a process. The weight of Betrayal and hurts are overwhelming. He knew what he was going to be facing in the garden. He asked His Heavenly Father, begged him please take this, is there anyother way. He understands the weight of betrayal and the process that it takes to forgive.  While we can never put ourselves in the place of Jesus on the cross, in a weird way I have peace knowing that God is not bound by time and that he allowed his son that time in his human nature to walk through the process off forgiving each one of us for how we betrayed him. 

While we might deal with years of taking the layers and pain off. I believe God in flesh (JESUS) was not bound in time was walking through the process.  It gives me Hope that  He was able to raise His weak Head and cry out.FATHER, FORGIVE THEM THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE DONE!

So many times when we deal with hurts, we long for that call, and letter of asking for forgiveness, but our own savior did not get that letter. He has to journey on the path of forgiveness. The journey of forgiveness is a dark, bitter lonely path, BUT GLORY TO GOD! Jesus has given us the secrets to forgiveness in HIS WORD.

 I don’t know all of your pains and hurts you are dealing with. We each deal with our own, and forgiveness comes in bits in pieces, and sometimes all at once. I heard this on the radio this morning. A father called in and said, If I could ask God one thing I would ask Him why my  10 year old son  was killed in a car wreck  driving with his mom. He said you know the hardest thing is when people say “God is in control and will use this.”  While, yes that is the truth, but we have to walk through the forgiveness. Forgiveness for some comes in a big BOOM. Others depending on how deep the hurt goes I truly believe God pulls it off in layers. Why? Because we serve a GRACIOUS GOD, and he knows how deep the Betrayal, tragedies and even circumstances we bring on ourselves  affects each one of us. 

The one thing I have discovered on this journey of forgiveness is that it a process. A process that you walk out daily.  When you take one step forward towards your healing you have an enemy ready to launch an attack only to push you back. 

There comes a point when you want your Freedom! Because in a weird way when you have a betrayal on such a deep level that I experienced you somehow are hit with not only the betrayal, but that of shame, anger, bitterness, and guilt all wrapped up and launched. It is like being in the snowball fight with a baseball practice machine. As fast as you can hit one ball you are back up having to swing to hit the next pitch.

About a week or so before Christmas, I started praying asking God. Why did I have to experience such deep betrayal not just me, but why do I have to watch my child at the age of 15 deal with these same emotions I have struggled with for some time. See it was not until my own child began to cry out and write songs, and poems of the pain she had to endure from the lies of others, and how they had put into her a seed of distrust at such a young age, and caused her to be traumatized. That did I know God was about to pull one more layer off. This layer is dealing with letting anger go. Probably one of the more difficult ones I have dealt with.

I mean honestly, as the Mom  the natural thing you want to do is call them up and say, let’s go you think you are so big and bad and really give them a good kick in the butt for their actions that destroyed so many lives and you watch stretch to a whole  a family.  To seat with them and say, “Do you truly, not see the division you have brought?  I mean that conversation could be a whole novel in itself. SO I will spare you from that. LOL  

While I would love to say that I have all the answers for you, me, anyone who goes through pain and betrayal. I don’t! I do know this. I believe with my ever fiber that if we want to see true healing not only in our emotional, physical, financial, relationships, even spiritually. I truly believe it begins with this…

Growing up I heard the story of Joseph and his brothers. I love love love that story! Growing up my grandmother jokingly called me the “Joseph of the family”. Oddly enough she and my aunt are the very ones who took on the role of the brothers and sold me into slavery.  Not a real slavery, but a slavery of what I would call un- forgiveness through they betrayal they brought on Cort and I. Just as Joseph’s brothers sold him off to be a slave.  

The neat thing about this story is that Joseph went through several things. It was not  a walk in the park for this man. He was imprisoned on false accessions, but it was through this journey that he was walking to fulfill his destiny. A destiny that would touch many lives, it was a destiny that would save a nation. He was raised up to protect the food and help provide the people and help them get the nutrition they needed while the famine was in the land. So they could stay strong.  

Now you might be saying, Girl! Please you have fallen off your rocker, but hear me out!  What if the answer of true freedom starts with the most basic principles?  What if it goes back to some of the old ideas and patterns? We all talk about being organized, feeling great. Well I would say, for my life I truly believe freedom is on its way not just for me but for others. For us to truly be healed we have to be willing to look at our lives in a new way.

I think we have to be the strongest we can to fight a very strong enemy. In Genesis, God said to the serpent he would put ENIMITY between the woman and snake. That snake was the devil.  I am doing a bible study called FIGHT LIKE A GIRL by Lisa Bevere. It is wonderful, but there have been some sentences  that have totally rocked me to my core. I cannot let go of. I want to share these with you.

1.       What would happen if women used their powers of insight and influences for healing and nurture? 

2.       We long for restoration of our lost paradise.

3.       Have we learned anything in all the years of pain? How many parents have lost their hearts of their children because they forgot why they had the? It was never to control them but to provide an environment in which they will flourish.

Maybe those will impact you as they did me. What I feel God is asking me to do is teach my girls and provide our family with the foundations.  In a weird way, I had this thought. What if our body was like a field or a foundation, and what if we as women teach our kids to put in the good stuff.  When our kids were babies we would go the distance to make sure they were getting well balance nutrients for their body to ensure they would grow.  Then it hit me: Like being ran over by a train! For me to grow spiritual and have those seeds and words truly be digested into my very fiber I have to have my temple prepared to receive. I want ever fiber of my being and my families to absorb the word, the truth and not be crowed or too busy stuffing our faces on the sofa with chips and sodas. All those do is zap our energy. I know we are in a new year and what better time to take on our role as women. What if we go back to the basics the foundations? We do what we were called to do nurture! What if start to raise a generation equipped to fight the Good Fight. Fueled on Good Foods, and the LIVING WORD OF GOD I truly believe that would be a generation that would do Great and Mighty things for God. 

  So I encourage every mom, and future mom that is reading this blog. Ask yourself this question? Are you teaching your kids how to properly fuel their bodies with good nutrition? America has a epidemic of obesity. It is time as women to stand up and teach our families how to overcome and use our insight and God-given role to nurture and care for our families.  

I mean, this is not easy! Trust me! Remember how my dinner started out last night, had a table of kids complaining, but it is our part. We can’t let a little crying and complaining knock us back! Our health our families Health and the Health of God’s people will be vital for the future.

God put us in a natural role and gave us the ability to nurture. If your child was sick with a sinus infection there is not one Momma I know that would not go the distances to get them that health they needed. Same thing! For your child to get the best and be their best we must teach them and make it a priority to  put those whole and living foods in them and us.

If there is one thing I have learned during this 10 day cleanse is that for me to get to the deep stuff, God has to pull the layers of pain off.   I truly believe that our bodies are the temple of the Lord and He wants the best for us.  So how about we stand and fight in our correct roles as women. What if we took this Generation we call X, and we marked it for the KINGDOM.

I am not a tree huger.  I truly am trying to make some huge changes in my family in the things we put in our bodies, and feel lead to bring my friends and girlfriends along and us do it together. Food can no more be a way to cover the pain for us! For us to be strong for the battle the Lord has us in, it is going to take more than just reading the scriptures, fasting and praying. He is calling us as women to bring back the community around the table, and teach our girl that what we feed our bodies is important!

My two cents of the day:

If Nothing Changes. Nothing will Change! How about join me on this journey of healing. I believe in this year 2013. God wants to pour out healing in so many areas of our lives, and  on a deep level. I am here to help you. Please if you want to learn more about  the 24 Day Challenge  call me 817-897-0023. 

Blessings to all you CHICKS! 

That Sneaky Little Thing!!!!

  I grew up with in a family that had a family owned and operated Pest Control Company for over 30 years. So when I run into anything that I would deem a pest the first call I make is to my dad.  While my sister enjoyed crawling under the houses and getting her hands dirty with the family business I would say I was more into the marketing side of things. Now don't get me wrong I am not scared to get muddy. It was more less the creatures that were going to be in the mud with me that I wanted to make sure I had a ten foot pole distances from anything to do with creatures and crawling in the mud. 

So I tried to always come up with the ideas for dad on how we could grow bigger, coming up with cute postcards, I even have him on facebook now with a page. Check him out - Lowes Lawn and Pest Control.  So when a mouse showed up without me noticing until it was too late in my new home. Staying calm was what I wanted to do, but I gave this sneaky thing a hillbilly redneck Howdy! I mean I think I handled it not too bad. I am not to sure he enjoyed my welcome because he took off running like he had seen a one eyed grizzly bear or something. I went to doing the TN two step with a leap and a turn and a dosi doo square dance move onto the sofa.  Then had a little bit of the Chicken Dance and Pep Ralley moment all tied up together. To say I flipped out well that would just be to nice.   

Most people would just go out and buy a mouse trap and say that is that, but I was ready to launch a full out battle attack  on this little thing that I had now named Ralph the Mouse. I was going to be holding nothing back. I was launching Mission Ralph Goes Bye Bye.  I wanted the nuclear bomb of bait, and wanted to make sure I had the gorilla war zone boo bee traps laid correctly, and everywhere.  I knew the one man that would understand and give me the best attack plan and understand what Mission Ralph would need to look like. I was ready to take my house back  at all cost. 

So I called Dad and said, “Daddy, I have a mouse! I need it gone.”   Because my Dad respects my husband and the authority he has in our home he said well where is Cort?  I said, “Dad he is at work and I am going to have to catch this thing, and then Cort can get rid of it. So where and what can I get to show him he sneaked into the wrong house.”  

Now let’s pause a moment. Before the girls spotted this little stinking creature running across the floor he came into our home unannounced and probably was in the middle of setting up house, and hanging up his Mouse Family Portrait just like Jerry did in his mouse hole on Tom and Jerry, when we discovered we had an unwanted guest.   After the fact, I started to chuckle a little because that is so how the enemy will sneak into our lives. Unannounced without drawing attention to himself and just begin to set up a corner here and there. Now I would love to say we did not give this little sneaky booger an invitation into our home, but we did.

Like a true professional my dad began to assess my house. I laughed because I had heard him do this hundred times I mean my sister and I could do this questionnaire to the tee growing up. After we discovered that when the girls had their friends over Monday for a party, they all had gone to the garage and they had gotten into the chips and left a bag or two on the ground opened while leaving the garage open for several hours. Now I can promise you now they all understand the importance of keeping food and following the rules of the house No food but in the kitchen.  But what was done was done and  we learned that the most innocent action gave the invitation to this creature.

Isn’t that so true in our lives. We have good intentions of not wanting to let the enemy have footholds in our lives. However, the most innocent way for him to have an invitation in our life is through OUR WORDS!

The bible teaches us that our words speak life or death.  I can’t tell you how many times in a day with three girls and myself I have to remind us that we will not be negative.  Wait!  It would probably be more true to say this.... I can't tell you how many times with living in a home with four women that Cort tells us not to be negative. We have a little rule in our house that Cort established when Rielly was little. This little rule in the past year or so has re surfaced on a more frequently in the Bethmann Home. 

 Cort is a man that has wisdom beyond his years and knows how to say something to a child that will stick and stay, and yes... to me as well. He truly is that iron that sharpens me. The rule that   Cort established  is The PP Rule. The PP Rule basically means: IF it is not POSITIVE  or POSSIBLE  you don’t say it. I would love to say I don’t get reminded about the PP rule, but probably once a week this great man will say, “Honey, is that PP?”  and of course everything in me wants to smack him silly and say OH I will show you some PP boy, but  instead I normal begin to laugh inside because of the silly name he gave it. I am honestly glad he does that because it truly has changed my way of thinking.

Well, as far as that little rodent goes! VICTORY WAS OURS! Sunday morning my night in shining armor arose victorious and whacked that little booger over the head.  While yes it was only a 3 inch  tiny mouse. To me Cort had conquered the dragon that was hissing at me and keeping me scared to death to walk around my house.

So just as Cort whacked that thing over the head, we also have to watch  the way we are speaking negative over our lives.  We must make sure and whacked those negative thoughts out of our  heads to ensure that we do not give any invitation to the enemy in our lives, homes, marriages,  and jobs.

So my two cents worth tonight is:

A positive wife  breathes life into the home.  We must purpose that we have to keep our tongues from evil and lips from speaking lies. I don’t know maybe it is time to establish the Cort Bethmann PP rule! Who knows what little sneaky boogers you could keep out!

Love you ladies,

Tiffany Bethmann

Really! I got THIS!

I have always had that attitude underlying thought in my head that tells me “I can do it by myself”. I mean seriously when it comes to certain things you just don’t want anyone doing them because they just can’t do it like you.  SURPRISE!!! I do have some OCD tendencies.  Growing up I had a great life. I had parents who taught me at a young age to strive for what you want and you can do anything no one can stop you. My dad and mom  are both first born and if they wanted to do something by golly they did it. It was wonderful. Our family was always known by they can get the job done those Walkers can do anything they put their minds too, and on top of that we would knock it out of the park.  So when I say it is deeply rooted in me that I have an attitude of “I can do it all by myself” it is deeply rooted in my heritage.  While don’t get me wrong when I use this thought patter for the things of God it brings about Massive Change, but like any gift or characteristic used the wrong way can be destructive.

Last night, I could not sleep I was up until 1:30 am working on some gift baskets, but there was this irritation keeping me for going to bed. When I finally crawled in the bed late last night I tossed and turned. I could not sleep. I started praying the normal prayer. OH God make our family one that seeks you, Keep us protected for any outside influences that would try to destroy us. Holy Spirit come into this house and fill each one of us.  Let the girls have a passion for the things of you. Finally, I went to bed, but there was still some frustration and tons of anxiety from a discussion that Cort and I had earlier, and the funny thing about it is I should not have had any frustration or anxiety about it.

The conversation was that of Cort coming into my office, that precious man was interested in what I was working on and asking if we had a plan with the baskets I was working on.  I feel now that  He wanted to be a part of what I was doing, yet instead of letting him. I  went down the road of well he thinks I can't do it alone, he thinks I am dumb. Does he not see I am trying! When in reality  he just wanting to help me succeed. 

Why is it that I immediately took on that “I can do it all by myself” mentality unknowingly? Now granted never in a million years last night could I tell you that the stress, anxiety and frustration was coming from me trying to do it all by myself. Instead of allowing Cort to help out.  Because I was so focused on the task of getting the job done and no one could do it like me.  I told Cort, " I was stressed and just had no clue what the plan was.  He kindly  giggled and said, “Tiff, put things in perspective.” 

 That one phrase I chewed on mentality all night. Really?  I woke up kind of with the same feeling of frustration, but also with anxiety which was causing me to be more short.  Which was making me frustrated at my self for screwing it up. Why could I not get this right?  I can do this! I kept telling myself. 

 While Cort woke up, all smiles and giggles he even busted a move this morning to one of his favorite songs. Just one of the many things I love about my man! Because he will never know how he makes me take my mind off the craziness by just being him.   It was not until I was doing the dishes and praying this prayer. 

"God I don’t want to be angry I don’t want to feel this way. Can you help me! I need to hear your voice! I need direction and clarity! HOW DO I DO THIS??? "

Then I heard the whisper of God say, “Well, then Tiff. Let’s put it in perspective."  

WHAT!!!! "Are you and Cort like on the same page? Why did you use that phrase? I know it is not news to you that I tossed all night because of those 5 words!" Wait! I mean of course I was not yelling at God that would be so unlike me. Since my prayer was God please help me.

 Just as gentle as before I heard, "You think you can do it all by yourself. How about trust? You think you can do it all because allowing someone else to come in and do it means a delay which means you have to exercise patience and trust.” is what I felt the Lord say. 

Then  I responded, “Right! I hate delay if I do it, then it gets done, I have peace knowing it was done and well I can move on.” 

  “I understand that Tiffany, but  this I can do it all by myself mentality takes me out of the picture.” 

Those words, thoughts, inspiration whatever you want to call that conversation I had  hit me  like a ton of bricks. First of all, that phrase that had me feeling anxiety and frustration last night was repeated this morning to me, yet the rest of it came.   How many times as wife and mothers do we think we can do it better than our husbands?  TOO MANY!  When the truth of the matter is we need them.  We need their protection, their wisdom, their companionship, their help parenting and their love.  When we take on that attitude of “I got this by myself” we take God out of the picture. 

But the bigger thing I believe God is teaching me right now and I wanted to share it is. That I tend to take up that attitude because I do not like the delay I like results, but through the delay will come the correct results. The lasting results, the direction and guidance. 

I hope this helps some of you girls out today!

 So my Two Cent’s Worth  today is this:  Do not despise Help. Our help comes from the Maker of Heaven and Earth. Without him the lasting change the mountain moving experiences we desire will never come. The delays are there because God is teaching us to depending on him and because he is a God of Perfect Timing! Each person is unique and we need each other   

What has God done for you lately?

January 3^rd was a stake in the ground kind of day for me. To be completely transparent and honest I am not the easiest person to live with and my husband and children probably be receiving a special crown and seat in heaven for the grace they have shown me.  I imagine the award ceremony for Cort going something like this… Cort Harrison Bethmann you are a man who has loved the unlovable,  you were able to endure harsh words of anger, took on what you did not have to  and words that cut you to the core yet through it all you loved the unlovable and  for that my son you receive the most glorious jewel in heaven for the LOVE jewel. 

Anger is something that I truly struggle with. It has been something that I pray that God would deliver me from and remove from my life. I can’t tell you the countless times that I would say, “That is it I am done I will not be yelling anymore. I am changing.” Only to let myself down 10 days later.

Well this past Christmas, I was probably sicker than I would ever want anyone to know. I have never ached so much and coughed to where my stomach would fill as if I had been beaten up by Mahamaded Ali.  I would look at myself in the mirror and see this pale face staring back at me. I tried to fight it myself and just deal with the pain because we have no health insurance and I did not want to use our precious funds to pay for my sickness; however it became apparent to me that I was going to need some intervention.  However, it is funny how God always puts me on my “back” when he is ready to teach me something. Probably  because he knows I like to go. Three other times in my life has he put me on my back and made me Be Still so I could learn and receive what he had for me. 

As I laid in my bed, I received an email from a buddy of mine. Saying he felt like God said to share this devotion with me. While the last 5 months in my life have been difficult months and I had lost sight of how God was going to be faithful to me during storms. It is so funny how when it is a sandpapering season in my life anger always comes to get me. Honestly, I think that the anger is really a root of fear and not wanting to trust. So instead of having to extend trust I use the anger to keep those away from me I love the most.  This study truly reminded me that I had a heritage of faith.  Tears streamed down my face and I began to cry Jan 3^rd @ 10:00am. Lord, I do have a hertigage of you being faithful, but I need you to do something for me that would come straight for you. I need a miracle a miracle that will not change or waiver. I need you to remove the anger and make me be able to have a joy again.  I am not saying that I will never lose my temper or yell again. Come on! I am only human, but what I believe is that I am taking the steps to see God remove the anger and trusting him for miracles. 

I heard my girls in the living room watching TV. Instead of joining them I  set in my bed and God REMINDED me of How faithful he was and will be.   It was kind of like that song Carrie Underwood sings “REMIND ME” I needed a reminder from God.  Each day he has reminded me of how he has been faithful to Cort and I and the girls.

One of the biggest miracles I experienced from  God being faithful to me happened when I had turned a notice in to leave a job. I needed and desired a flexible schedule since I was a single full-time mom to Rielly.

 For so long, I was so focus on making life better for her that she became second, third out of my desire to making her the number one.  I was trying to go to college full-time, work a full-time job, study and there was no manual for this 17 year old girl to figure out how to juggle. I thank God that I had family who helped me. But the biggest miracle I received occurred when I was 18 years old.  I had just left a good paying job because my pastor had advised me and said it is time to put Rielly first. A lot of crazy things were happening in my life and I felt like Dorthy caught up in the tornado. 

 My parents had separated, and  I was engaged to a wonderful man.  I can remember that week, month and year as if it was just yesterday.  I would put Rielly to bed and then begin to cry. Lord, give me a job. I want nothing more than to help this child be a better person than me.  However, God had a different plan he had a plan that was to give me back the time the enemy had stolen from me.  I cried every night because I knew I was about to lose my car, my house and probably be on the street with a baby.    God did not allow that to happen. The coolest thing without going into tons of detail I saw God provide big time and he taught me through this experience it was ok to trust him and trust Cort.

 While I was getting comfortable with trusting Cort. God reminded me that ultimately he is in control and my provider.  I was down to my last meal, last diaper and Cort’s checks had not come in from that months invoices we  had sent out.  I did not want to put the pressure on him  so I looked at Rielly and said, “Baby girl it is time to pray. I was already trying not to eat as much as usually to ensure that she would have enough. But the truth was we had just had our last meal, and I used the last pull- up that night. I was brutally honest with her and said, " We need God to provide for us Rielly."  She and her child like faith said, " Well let’s pray Mommy." So we did .

Not a word was spoken to anyone but Rielly, me and God it was Saturday night at 12:00 midnight.  We both prayed for easy mac, a loaf of bread, pull ups, a watermelon, and then she asked God for some toys.  Then with ever once of our being we went to bed knowing that God was going to take care of us. Sunday morning Cort arrived at our apartment to pick me us up for church. When he came in he said, This was on your front steps this morning. I looked at Rielly and she at me. She was totally pysch because she had some new toys, Easy Mac, Bread, pull-ups and even a watermelon.  I was speechless! Which does not happen often.  I watched God do that over and over again in that season.

 Through my parents separation my car got sold, and at the time was a huge slap to me because I had been paying the car payment, and had been for a while. Yet never saw any of the money from the sell of the car. Yet God was teaching me, that he will provide for me, and I was learning to be humbled and not full of pride. The next day, after my car was picked up I received a phone call from Papaw. “Hey! Tiffy I just wanted to call you up and let you know I have a car for sale.  I knew at the time I only had maybe $5.00 to my name. So I said Ok Papaw how much you selling it for. Papaw told me the price I wanted to sell it for this, but I felt like I was suppose to offer it to you for $1.00 or so.” my Papaw said.  Now, while most of you are thinking wow this is great. It was great! But at the same time it was a humbling experience because this is the car was the same car  I would tell my Mamaw to park at the end of the street at CHS and I would walk down to her.  This car which I grew to love very deeply was the color of brown doodoo and was longer than a school bus. So it was kind of a bittersweet moment.  However, I will tell you it did not take long to grow to have a love for that car.  

Theses are just some of the stories and memories that flooded my mind as I laid in my bed and went through the list of times God was faithful to me. 

I am telling you all this because now I find myself in the same place. Since Cort and I moved back to TN I had been crying out to God since Feb 2012 that I wanted to be a full time mommy once again and wife. I did not want to be in corporate America and be the full time bread earner for our family.   Yet the dollar and cents just did not add up.  See when we moved from TX , I was the full time bread earner because it was my job that brought us back to TN. Cort had a very successful law firm and we were very comfortable where we were at. Yet God knew the desires of our hearts from when we first got married.  Cort had always told me he wanted to live in Middle, TN and raise our girls there. However, lawschool had moved us to TX. SO when we got the chance to move back and God gave us the green light we moved backed. It was not an easy move and things did not turn out like we had planned.

Now Cort has a wonderful job working as a Finical Wealth Manager and Trust Officer down town Franklin. He gets to use his law degree to help families which he loves, and if you are looking for one of those. Let me be the first to say- He is your man!

At then end of summer, God gave Cort and I the strength through a difficult circumstance to say Our family is more important than money, and we were not going to let a job destroy our family.  So setting in a Starbucks with one of my close friends after a morning of very heated discussion with one another. Cort and I took the  steps to turn my  notice in. A good friend of ours Adam Engle who was also my boss at the time will never know how much he means to our family, and  what a huge part he played in bringing us home, and even getting me back in the house to be that full time mommy I so desired.   I know with out a doubt I was suppose to work that job and God used that job to bring about lasting eternity changes. IF it was not for the month in Feb I spent with a friend traveling I am not sure what would have occurred for good friend of mine that was a confessed atheist who now is a born again Christian! The truth of the matter is if Adam  never brought me to work for him, that life would not have changed. I am in awe of Gods details. 

  So again, I find myself almost 12 years later having the desire of being a full time mommy again having to trust God with my  family which is much larger now, but this time knowing that my heritage with the Lord is that of him always coming through, and handing the reins of providing for our family back to Cort. Knowing that it might be the 11^th hour, but my God is faithful, and Cort is a man I can trust.

So my two cent’s today is: God is faithful. If you are going through something look back and remind yourself of where he has taken you in the past and what He has done for you in the past. While it might be a on a larger scale this time  I can rest in knowing the larger scale is so Cort and I can see we need God  just as much as we did,  and the miracle is on the way!

Love y'all!

Tiffany Bethmann