Crazy Little Thing Called Love....
Kailee Grace moved up from coach pitch to fast pitch softball. She thought it was going to be a walk in the park. She was so excited to go to the ballpark to meet her new Coach and team. Cort had taken her to go get all her new equipment that the coach requested his team to wear. They had spent hours at Academy selecting the right helmet, practice pants, bat, and glove. Honestly, this thought makes me giggle a little bit because my husband has the patience of Job, but any trip shopping with Kailee Grace is more like you are looking for the undiscovered buried Nazi Gold in Lake Toplitz, Austria. However, when her daddy told her she would be wearing the "face protection", she was completely against it. The face mask felt awkward , uncomfortable and far from the fashion statements she likes to make. In reality the mask was not at all what she suspected it to feel like.
After the first practice, watching several of her friends step up to bat and get beamed in the leg she looked at me with crocodile tears racing down her cheek. She refused to get in the batter box to hit the box because what her eyes and mind was telling her was that she was only going to get hurt.
Why is it that so many people have in their minds that love should be easy and like a fairy tale? At some point in our marriage we girls have all mumbled the words...."Marriage...shouldn't be this hard". Why is it that we believe this thing called love is so hard after we say I do?
From a very young age we dream of our happily ever after, when our prince charming will run in and sweep us off our feet. I don't know about you, but I can remember watching Cinderella and picturing that one day my prince my soul mate would come and sweep me off my feet.
The funny thing about this is I think we girls think there is just that one person out there for us to marry, and that our Prince Charming will perfectly met our needs and wants exactly the way we want. I jumped on the soul mate band wagon. You have heard the saying, "Don't drink the kool aide" well this chick took a big gulp of it. This idea or moral premise could not be further from the truth. The older I get the more I realize that in reality we always marry the wrong person. I know some of you are already thinking... I did not marry the wrong person. Take a chill pill for a moment, and let me try to break this down for you.
What I am trying to say is that when we pick our spouse we say I Do on how they treat us, how they act and who they are right then and there. We dismiss the idea that they will change and we will change. The idea that if they change or circumstances change they will no longer fit our "idea of the prince charming". We all change from the day we say I Do. So our perfect soul mate turns into the perfect counterfeit mate. Now let's pause a moment. I am not saying at all that you have married the wrong person. I am just trying to say that we all have different ideas of what marriage will look and feel like, and have to learn to adapt.
So what do you do after you find out that your Prince Charming is not in reality your Prince Charming? Because Prince Charming actually wants you to put the dishes in the dish washer in certain places, or that Prince Charming wants to watch football instead of watching chick flicks. Then Prince Charming and Cinderella start having babies and those babies grow up and cause some problems in the Kingdom of Happy Ever After, or even worst tragedy hits in some kind of shape or form.
Do you leave the ballgame? Run to the nearest divorce attorney, or do you die to your wants and needs and learn that marriage is truly not about your happiness all the time and more about your holiness. Now, before you start reading into this post thinking Tiffany is wanting to leave Cort, or oh no what is happen to them? Take a deep breath! We are good honestly probably the best we ever have been. While Cort might not live up to my Prince Charming ideas, I for sure don't live up to his babe quiet loving wife. However, the bottom line is at some point you realized your fairy tales is not turning out exactly the way either of you imagined it to be. You have two options.
1. Do what society says do... Move on there is someone better out there.
2. Realize that you have an amazing relationship with another Human Being one that is closer than any other Human Relationship you will ever have. It might be laced with a little bit of crazy, and dysfunction, but it is also laced with two people who love each other for who they are in the good,bad, and the ugly times. You both are far from each others Happy Ever After, but who really defined the so call "Happy Ever After"?
So next time you want to utter the phrases like... Why is Love so Hard, or This is not what I deserve. Remember no one said Marriage would be Easy. So take a step back and think, no one is perfect, but remind yourself that you are with exactly who you want to do life with. Sure they drive me a little batty and always second guess me, sing in the shower, and dance a little crazy, but I am defining my Happy Ever After.
So my Two Cent's of the Day:
Always climb into the batters box, don't let fear grip you because to become a Major League Star you have to be willing to take a hit or two. The pain only last for a moment, but a joy last a lifetime! Marriage might be hard, but Marriage can be Amazing! So embrace this thing called love! You are never ready for the crazy!
I love you Cort Bethmann. You drive me crazy, but I love you even those things did not turn out to be my happy ever little after ideas. I would take this crazy ride with you again!
