Crazy Little Thing Called Love.....

Crazy Little Thing Called Love....

 Kailee Grace moved up from coach pitch to fast pitch softball. She thought it was going to be a walk in the park. She was so excited to go to the ballpark to meet her new Coach and team. Cort had taken her to go get all her new equipment that the coach requested his team to wear. They had spent hours at Academy selecting the right helmet, practice pants,  bat, and glove. Honestly, this thought makes me giggle a little bit because my husband has the patience of Job, but any trip shopping with Kailee Grace is more like you are looking for the undiscovered buried  Nazi Gold in Lake Toplitz, Austria.  However, when her daddy told her she would be wearing  the "face protection", she was completely against it. The face mask felt awkward , uncomfortable and far from the fashion statements she likes to make. In reality the mask  was  not at all what she suspected it to feel like.

 After the first practice, watching several of her friends step up to bat and get beamed in the leg she looked at me with crocodile tears racing down her cheek.  She refused to get in the batter box to hit the box because what her eyes and mind was telling her was that she was only going to get hurt. 

Why is it that so many people have in their minds that love should be easy and like a fairy tale?  At some point in our marriage we girls have all mumbled the words...."Marriage...shouldn't be this hard".  Why is it that we believe this thing called love is so hard after we say I do? 

From a very young age we dream of our happily ever after, when our prince charming will run in and sweep us off our feet. I don't know about you, but I can remember watching Cinderella and picturing that one day my prince my soul mate  would come and sweep me off my feet.

The funny thing about this is I think we girls think there is just that one person out there for us to marry, and that our Prince Charming  will perfectly met our needs and wants exactly the way we want.  I jumped on the soul mate band wagon. You have heard the saying, "Don't drink the kool aide" well this chick took a big gulp of it.   This idea or moral premise could not be further from the truth. The older I get the more I realize that in reality we always marry the wrong person. I know some of you are already thinking... I did not marry the wrong person. Take a chill pill for a moment, and let me try to break this down for you. 

What I am trying to say is  that  when we pick our spouse we say I Do on how they treat us, how they act and who they are right then and there. We dismiss the idea that they will change and we will change.  The idea that if  they change or circumstances change  they will no longer fit our "idea of the prince charming".  We all change from the day we say I Do. So our perfect soul mate turns into the perfect counterfeit mate. Now let's pause a moment. I am not saying at all that you have married the wrong person. I am just trying to say that we all have different ideas of what marriage will look and feel like, and have to learn to adapt. 

So what do you do after you find out that your Prince Charming is not in reality your Prince Charming? Because Prince Charming actually wants you to put the dishes in the dish washer in certain places, or that Prince Charming wants to watch football instead of watching chick flicks. Then Prince Charming and Cinderella start having babies and those babies grow up and cause some problems in the Kingdom of Happy Ever After, or even worst tragedy hits in some kind of shape or form. 

 Do you leave the ballgame? Run to the nearest divorce attorney, or do you die to your wants and needs and learn that marriage is truly not about your happiness all the time and more about your holiness. Now, before you start reading into this post thinking Tiffany is wanting to leave Cort, or oh no what is happen to them?  Take a deep breath! We are good honestly probably the best we ever have been. While Cort might not live up to my Prince Charming ideas, I for sure don't live up to his babe quiet loving wife. However, the bottom line  is at some point you realized your  fairy tales is not turning out exactly the way either of you imagined it to be. You have two options.  

1. Do what society says do... Move on there is someone better out there. 

2. Realize that you  have an amazing relationship with another Human Being one that is closer than any other Human Relationship you will ever have. It might be laced with a little bit of crazy, and dysfunction, but it is also laced with two people who love each other for who they are in the good,bad, and the ugly times. You  both are far from each others Happy Ever After, but who really defined the so call "Happy Ever After"? 

So next time you want to utter the phrases like... Why is Love so Hard, or This is not what I deserve.  Remember no one said Marriage would be Easy.  So take a step back and think, no one is perfect, but remind yourself that you are with  exactly who you want to do life with. Sure they  drive me a little batty and always second guess me, sing in the shower, and dance a little crazy, but I am defining my Happy Ever After.

So my Two Cent's of the Day:

Always climb into the batters box, don't let fear grip you because to become a Major League Star you have to be willing to take a hit or two. The pain only last for a moment, but a joy last a lifetime! Marriage might be hard, but Marriage can be Amazing! So embrace this thing called love! You are never ready for the crazy! 

I love you Cort Bethmann. You drive me crazy, but I love you even those things did not turn out to be my happy ever little after ideas. I would take this crazy ride with you again! 

The Shoes of Life

Shoes of Life 

Jamie yelled from the other side of the pond!  HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM! GET OVER HERE NOW! I could tell by my little sister’s tone that what just happened on her side of the pond was not good.  I made a mad dash through the tall cat tail grass and around the corner to the far side of the pond.  As we both watched her brand new leather shoe sinking to the bottom of Granny Bea and Papaw’s catfish pond. Jamie was grasping wildly trying to grab it before it sank.  Without hesitation I said, really? We just got those yesterday! Mom is going to have a cow.  How did you let that happen? She responded, “ Your really not helping the situation out at the moment. However, remember that  bright idea of yours tying our shoes the trendy way instead of the old fashion way. Now are you going to get to problem solving mode or set her and preach  to me the B attitudes of wish I... should of'.... could of ”

 OK ok… So feeling a little bit like this was now my fault.  I got down on my knees next to her. I told Jamie to get up from where she was on her stomach desperately trying to fish out the shoe.

 “Don’t you dare let me fall into that water!  Ok?”  Laying horizontally to the pond, and placing trust into my little sister holding one arm and one leg and leveraging my body to keep me from falling.  Jamie said, “Good grief, Tiffany I already stuck my hand into the water. Now get my shoe. After changing and adapting ourselves several times we finally found the position that gave us the advantage on the situation.   I began to stick my hand down as far as I could into the muddy yucky nasty man eating catfish pond in hopes of “rescuing the shoe”.  Together after 15 minutes of carefully positioning ourselves we fished out the brown leather shoe that decided to go Awah.

All of us face situation that we have to adapt to accomplish our goals, and our challenges.  With those goals and challenges we must all embrace one key trait. Can you guess what that trait is?  You got it! Courage!

To exceed in life we must all embrace some level of courage. We have to face the fear of failures, be willing to stick our hands in muddy waters of life in hopes of pulling out that so called shoe or goal we are striving to achieve. 

Think about exercising courage as if you were playing a game of  Mother may I. Some of us are asked to take giant leaps of faith while others get 10 baby steps. While some are just stinking lucky and get to leap frog over the yucky stuff and never have to walk through it. Life is not fair by any means.

Jeremiah 15:19 gives us a hidden treasure that we must take Courage to “extract the precious from the worthless.” This is a great verse to mediate on when you are in the process of going for a goal because you will have moments where you have to overcome your frustrations and your own negative thoughts that will try to paralyze you by saying it is just too muddy? What if you get hurt? Or even worst what if you don't accomplish the goal at all?  I know I have personally  battled those thoughts lately myself. The truth is in every situation even those times we think doing these things that seem worthless and waste of our time. We truly are shaping our lives and forming them into precious moments, by just walking by faith and courage in the muddy waters of life in hopes of victory and reaching that shoe!

Our shoes can be different things to us. Some of us are reaching for that shoe of Success, while others are reaching for the Shoe of happiness. Some of us are even reaching for that shoe to prove to the world they got what it takes.  Jobs, Family, Marriage, Success  we all have different shoes we are desperately trying to reach. No matter what shoe you are reaching for in life. You will always have to face the muddy water where you have to reach for the shoe. It is in the moments we are reaching we must remember to push through the task that seem worthless  to extract the precious.  

So my two cent’s worth of the day is this: If we take a mindset that would be a mindset of Courage nothing could stop us. We were all created to be Exceptional. We have to have the courage to be different.  Even when that different is uncomfortable because when we get uncomfortable and push ourselves into the unclear muddy waters we rely on our faith to carry us and operating in that type of faith is when we extract the precious. 

Spread a Little LOVE TODAY!

The three most precious things in life to me are my daughters.  But today my little Chaise melted my heart just a little.  It was a typical Bethmann morning for the girls. I had finished making smoothies for their breakfast.  Sent Rielly out the door with her ride,  and was serving  the two little girls up with some smoothies while we watched  a television evangelist.

Chaise was reclined on the sofa with her smoothie when she let the berry filled smoothie dribble down her neon orange brand new shirt. She was devastated! Luckily I had my wonder woman costume under my pjs.

I quickly assessed the situation like any good ER nurse would and said Chaise I am going to need to preform some surgery on your shirt with some Shout and will have it good as new before the bus arrives.  I was back in my bathroom blow drying the shirt dry when she came in. I announced to her, " Chaise, it is as good as new!"  With the most melt your heart puppy dog eyes she said, Mommy I don't know what I would do without you!

Funny how our kids have a way of making us feel important by just needing us. I think the same is true with our Heavenly Father.

Well as a mother of three girls, my jobs is to show them by example and hopefully when I breath my last breathe they will remember the things I taught them.  From the saving the day before school tricks, look people in the eye when you speak, take time to read their name tags to show the check out lady she is important,  to simply believing the best when it seems there is no hope. Spreading a little love and hope will go along way, but if you leave it behind to our children it will go a lot longer. Keep in mind with out Love we can do NOTHING!  So show some love to someone today, even the person who doesn't deserve it because they need it the most!

Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Friendly Salsa Dip

Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Friendly Salsa

I am always on the search for healthy yummy recipes that will keep me feeling great and keep us all in shape!  Those of you who know me well know without a doubt when it comes to cooking  I am no Martha Stewart.  Cooking totally does not come natural to me by any stretch. However this is a 100% dummy proof recipe and takes less than 10 minutes to make. My kind of cooking!  But the best part of it is you can still wear your favorite yellow polka dot bikini and not feel guilty eating something that taste so yummy. 

Black Bean & Corn Salsa 
1 can black beans, rinsed
1 can corn, rinsed
3 Roma tomatoes, chopped
4 green onions, chopped
2 avocados, chopped
1/4 cup red onion, chopped
1/4-1/2 fat free Italian dressing
Jalapeno, chopped (opt)
Cilantro, chopped

Combine all chopped ingredients and mix together in a bowl, add Italian dressing.  Serve with chips totally optional  It is also great alone! 

Becoming the Expert!

Today, was turning out to be another typical day. Got up did the whole dog and pony show of getting dressed, started a load of laundry, read my devotion, and  answered some emails. It is amazing how quickly we can revert into the daily routines and become bogged down with the daily grind before we know it we look up and it is 10:26 am and we are thinking where did the time just go?

I have always had the attitude of I want to be the best, second is not good enough for me. Maybe that has  a lot to do with being the first borne child.  Lately, I have been trying to become the "expert" in a particular area of my life.  I have always been a huge advocate of praying and journal.  So it is funny when, you come across something and it is clear as day and you had only shared it with you, your journal, and the big man upstairs.

 We all have areas that we would like to be the so call "experts" in.

1.Inventing a Device that will save the worlds water supply
2. Best Body
3. Raises the smartest kids alive.
4. The Fashion Diva
5. The Next Paula Dean

It could be even something as simple as. Respecting your husband and loving your children. Whatever it is don't give up on becoming that expert,or maybe you have never done an life inventory. If not I encourage you to think about it. There is something that you have secretly unawarely set your eyes out to be the expert in. Most of the time  it is not that we want to be the expert for others, but just the expert in our own minds.  Because in  our minds if we  are the expert we are well doing it the best and most efficient way possible.

I know it seems crazy that we would kid ourselves to  think that with a snap of a finger we could hear something and BOOM become the expert on this issue.

It is not a bad thing for us to desire something and want to be the expert in that area. I actually think it is a good goal to have. However, we must always give ourselves the permission to become the "Beginner" before we can actually be the " Expert".

We have to be able to not hold ourselves to the level of being a Mount Everest Climber if we are truly just about to take our first hike.  It takes time to build and become what God wants and desires for our lives and what we want and desire for our lives.

So when you start to hold yourselves to the crazy level of an Expert just remind yourself that all Experts had to be the Beginner.  Today, I was pinned these words in my journal.    So my two cent's of the day is:

God is more interested in your growth than what you are going through. Trails will change forms and manifest themselves in different ways. However, until we get the growth God desires we will never become the EXPERTS! Don't allow fears, others smart remarks, the lies of they will never change.  We must never let   challenges paralyze us.  You are More than a Conqueror and you will be formed into the Expert at the Correct Time. Maybe not mine but when the transformation is completed you will not have to announce it others will be drawn to you to learn.   You got to start somewhere!!! To be great we must become the student not the instructor first.  So start growing your courage and become one step closer to being the EXPERT TODAY!

I hope those words help you!  Remember, Life is short.  Have the goal of becoming the Expert in something! Because you were designed for GREATNESS!!!!

My OWN REALITY TV DRAMA

When I got married 12 years ago to the most wonderful man on the face of the earth,  I had zero intentions of starring in my own reality series of  “HUSBAND  and Children MAKEOVER “.  I mean I was staring in our own personal drama before reality  shows were even cool.  I slowly fell captive to trying to makeover and change everyone around me instead of the one person that needed to change. 

One of my favorite “help” books of all times is Power of the Praying Wife.  I remember the day when my precious mother-in-law gave me these books.  My first thought was oh no this is going to be bad. His own mother is trying to pass the baton to me and give me a book to change him. So when we hit our first storm. I picked that book up knowing with every fiber in my body who needed the changing. I was on the mission to Makeover and Change that man. Little did I know, that the first chapter was going to be all about changing me. I mean really Stormie?  If you want women to read this you might want to throw them  a bone or two.  Just Kidding!  While most people could knock that chapter out in like 15 minutes and move on. It has taking me a life- time. The first time of what I like to call the pounding on the potter wheel for me took a good solid month of ready just chapter one. CHANGE YOU! I mean when I picked this book up I was ready to hit my knees and change everything I saw that could be better. It is so funny how we get sucked into envy and wanted our marriage or kids to be something that maybe is not what God wants or needs.   The sooner you can lay the facade down and embrace what God has for you the better it will be.  So go ahead get off that hamster wheel and embrace what God wants your family and marriage to be, and I promise it will be you changing not them it will be 100% about changing you. 

The funny thing about this whole thing looking back over the years  the one person who God wanted to change was me. Sometimes you might ask yourself. Why does it have to be me that needs to change?  Why do I always have to be the one to change?  The one thing I tell myself whether it is true or not is that "Hey you are better at change! And more of a risk taker so naturally it has to be you who changes first.  Because the person willing to risk changing them is the bigger gambler. One of my favorite sayings is GO BIG OR GO HOME! So Go big Go for the change. 

 It is a very humble thing when God starts to place you on the refiner’s firer or on the potter’s wheel and begins to mold you.  Honestly, I know Paul talks about counting it all joy through trails. I think that man must have one good direct line to God and has to be on an IV drip of Prozac, Clear Mood  or something.  Sure looking back on different trails I can honestly say. They were for my good and made me a stronger and better person today.  I am all for praising through the storm, but I also give myself permission to be human and know God is going to love me through it. Having three girls in the family I have often been occussed of having a house full of drama. I always think to myself, well YEA!!! I mean we all have a Heavenly Father and if you don't think He would take the Oscar for BEST ACTOR and Best Drama well I am going to go on a limb and say you probably have not read the bible lately. So yes Drama does run in our family! 

About a month later after receiving my book Power of the Praying Wife my mother-in-law gave me another book by Dr Laura. How to Properly Feed and Nurture Your Husband.  It was at that moment that I realized it was not her son she was trying to change it was ME.  I  know all you daughter- in- laws out there are starting to think if my mother- in -law did that she would not be stepping a foot in my house and be thinking you need to call 911 or the Crazy Wagon.  But honestly I know 100%  that my mother in law was not trying to Change me she was being that Titus 2 Woman we are called too.  She was trying to pass on to me the biblical principals of what a wife should be.   I am grateful for my relationship with both my mom and my mother-in-law.  They both in their own way encourage me and teach me how to strive to be a godly women which in return has been passed down to the next generation my girls. Praise God for those Titus 2 Women  God has brought into my life to encourage me.

I can say it is probably a miracle that my man stayed with me, and Rielly still listens and ask for advice. But we have all  grown up a lot and I love that HE is the one person that can sharpen me more than any individual  Cort knows the good, the bad and the ugly and still chooses to love me, and that is enough for me. I can't tell you a day that child has not spoken some type of truth into my life. 

 Now before you start sending me messages of you are worthy of him and you are a great mother, lalalal and etc. Please know that I do not think I am not a good mother and I know 159% that we were the best thing that happened to each other, and that I truly have given birth too not just one legend but three.  But the bottom line as wives and moms and even just as humans  the only control and person we can change is the very one we are scared to change, and that is the exact person that needs the change.  Yea you know it. IT is US!

Trust me! I might have missed my calling as a drill sergeant in the army. I have an act some might even call it a passion for helping others be the “BEST THEY CAN BE” whether it is shoving it down their face or drilling it in with the act of what I like to say “encouraging you to be all you can be” however no matter how I like to dress it up it all comes down to two things.

1.       Control

2.      Nagging

So where do we go from here. How do we pass on to our girls and our boys that it is ok to encourage, but there is a fine line and so easy to step over into Controlling or Nagging, and if you are two first born married to each other  you know the desire to lead, be perfect at everything  and control is even a harder battle to overcome in your marriage. 

The lesson that I feel we all can take and will always be learning as long as we live is this:

When we have the desire to step in and nag or become controlling to those we love or our friends we have to do these things.

Replace nagging with prayer. (Not with: “Lord, change him or her!” “Why are my kids not picking it up, I told them 800 times already” But with replace the nagging with a simple easy prayer of:

Lord change me. Help me love. Strengthen me to show unconditional love. Give me Your grace. Give me Your wisdom. Give me your Peace.”)

Leave the room or conversation if possible or appropriate. (Don’t even give yourself a chance to get the words out!)

Change what you can control: your response. I tend to go straight into the OH MY WORD level.  So this one is become huge test. I sometimes have to repeat over and over. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

Counting to 10 is another thing that is working well for me.

My two cents of the day is: 

Don’t kid yourself the ONLY person you can change is yourself. God never called us to any type of control except that of SELF CONTROL! 

Tiffany 

A Little Action Goes a Long Way

A Little Action Goes a Long Way 

It is that time of year again, getting together expense reports, mileage reports turning in the 1099s and W2s. Cort has been inundated with work at his company trying to get all his clients prepared for their taxes. I volunteered to handle our taxes this year. Finally, I convinced Cort I could do it. This was my first actual year to do the taxes completely by myself.  The funny thing is now I understand what he was trying to protect me from. Let’s just say if your man does the taxes like Cort does for us. You need to give him some kind of “I really appreciate the hard work kudos” because that stuff is for the birds.

After countless hours of going through receipts, bank statements and calendars I felt as if I had conquered Mt Everest.  But it was not until I began to use the shredder this morning that something was spoken to my heart. 

So many times in life we are handed tasks that we feel overwhelmed and not competent to complete.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to completing a task maybe in a different way than most perfectionists but never less a perfectionist. Anytime, I begin a task I want to make sure that I get it done, fast, to a high standard of excellence and please those people I am doing it for.  When I feel as if I did not meet that standard I get extremely mad at myself for letting people down and I begin to deal with the “insecurities” that plague me, and turn my frustration on them through anger. Because my goal is always to knock it out of the park. Everything I laid out is the cycle of insecurities I deal with. We all deal with insecurities on some level. If we were to say we don’t we would be lying, and as the saying goes, "If your lying your dying!" 

 So what are insecurities?  I once heard insecurities defined as being in your own personal crazy ward. I would have to agree with that. Your mind plays tricks on you. Begins to go at you like you are going at war with yourself. Telling you how you don't measure up. He is mad at me. What did I do? Why are they mad? You know the common questions/answers you play silently in your head. We begin to allow our thoughts to tear us down and beat our self up. This is what I call classic Insecurities. We feel real heavy in our mind yet not for sure why. 

 The bible speaks plain as day about Satan is the “accuser”.  His job is to try and get you and I  hung up however. I am convinced that he has three major attacks he launches at humans.  One of my favorite things to do is cuddle on the sofa with Cort and watch a good action pack movie, but the one thing that always happens is the “good guys” have to figure out what the “bad guys” are doing, and then Go to work. 

So that is exactly what we are going to do. Let’s take a moment together and expose Satan’s attack plans. We know we are not battling against flesh and blood. So that let's us know we are in a spiritual battle. So let's take a moment and inventory some of the ways that Satan attacks us. I am going to list 3 I have watched played out in my life and others. 

 1.   Get you to believe there is no God.

Once he can convenience you there is no God. His work is done and he leaves you to your own destruction.

   

2.  Get you to “know of God” but not “KNOW HIM”

I have personally walked this one out. I grew up in church and so I knew the right things to say and do because "I knew of God". This is very dangerous because the pride in my life was leading me down a path of I am ok. I can do both what I want and I will be fine  because I know the right things. I am sad to report nothing is farther from the truth. I was living out what Timothy warned us of. I was allowing my selfishness and Self-center ness to rule my decisions and choices. I knew the right things to do. I knew I had no business going where I was going and what I was doing. But kept telling myself because I knew the word, I would be ok. I knew it was wrong but I was having a hard time making my mind and heart line up because my flesh was stronger.  I am convinced, not just because of my circumstances but because of watching others dear to me walk down that same paths of destruction. If we were in our bible’s every day, praying and truly seeking God. That small faint voice,  I heard telling me to get out would have been more like an ambulance warning me.  It is not until we begin to put him in our everyday life and have a regular routine that we get to KNOW HIM.

3.       Get you to crumble why you are in a growing phase. By attacking your identity and mind.

Oh and the most classic of classic attack we read about countless times in the word. He tries to take us out while we are growing. Joseph and Job are just two examples of this.   Why is that do you think? Paul tells us that we should count our trails as joy. I know it is because those trails produce faith.  Faith is the essences of our belief. Think about what Jesus said to those he touched to heal. His classic phrases, “Your Faith healed You” So if Satan can knock our faith and get us focused on our circumstances instead of our Promise he can knock us every time.  

Now, I don’t know about you ladies I have heard this stuff multiple times but it was not until I was at the shredder did I get that I am ready to take the attack I have going on in my life and begin to not allow the insecurities and attack plans of the enemy to rule my mind.  I am ready to have my own little movie of "Independence Day" and take out the bad guy better known as Satan. We have to remind ourselves and do as Joseph and Job did Hold to the promises. So that is what I am going to do.  I will hold to a promise that God gave me back in 2007.  It took David 14 years of hiding in caves for his life as a man whom he felt was like a daddy to him tried to kill him. I believe that Satan attacks us the same as he did  David. Yet David is known as a man after God's own heart. David claimed his promises and Praised through the storm. Did insecurities plague David. You bet your bottom dollar they did. But He allowed his head knowledge to penetrate his heart and stood his ground. 

So my two cents of the day: Do not let GO of your promises. Do not let Go of your Lord and don’t just know of Him. Get to Know your Jesus. When the insecurities plague you know this. If you are not fighting them. You are doing them or you are them. You are worth the fight. No matter how long it takes for that promise to be fulfilled God does keep his Promises.

Love you Girls!

Tiffany