What has God done for you lately?

January 3^rd was a stake in the ground kind of day for me. To be completely transparent and honest I am not the easiest person to live with and my husband and children probably be receiving a special crown and seat in heaven for the grace they have shown me.  I imagine the award ceremony for Cort going something like this… Cort Harrison Bethmann you are a man who has loved the unlovable,  you were able to endure harsh words of anger, took on what you did not have to  and words that cut you to the core yet through it all you loved the unlovable and  for that my son you receive the most glorious jewel in heaven for the LOVE jewel. 

Anger is something that I truly struggle with. It has been something that I pray that God would deliver me from and remove from my life. I can’t tell you the countless times that I would say, “That is it I am done I will not be yelling anymore. I am changing.” Only to let myself down 10 days later.

Well this past Christmas, I was probably sicker than I would ever want anyone to know. I have never ached so much and coughed to where my stomach would fill as if I had been beaten up by Mahamaded Ali.  I would look at myself in the mirror and see this pale face staring back at me. I tried to fight it myself and just deal with the pain because we have no health insurance and I did not want to use our precious funds to pay for my sickness; however it became apparent to me that I was going to need some intervention.  However, it is funny how God always puts me on my “back” when he is ready to teach me something. Probably  because he knows I like to go. Three other times in my life has he put me on my back and made me Be Still so I could learn and receive what he had for me. 

As I laid in my bed, I received an email from a buddy of mine. Saying he felt like God said to share this devotion with me. While the last 5 months in my life have been difficult months and I had lost sight of how God was going to be faithful to me during storms. It is so funny how when it is a sandpapering season in my life anger always comes to get me. Honestly, I think that the anger is really a root of fear and not wanting to trust. So instead of having to extend trust I use the anger to keep those away from me I love the most.  This study truly reminded me that I had a heritage of faith.  Tears streamed down my face and I began to cry Jan 3^rd @ 10:00am. Lord, I do have a hertigage of you being faithful, but I need you to do something for me that would come straight for you. I need a miracle a miracle that will not change or waiver. I need you to remove the anger and make me be able to have a joy again.  I am not saying that I will never lose my temper or yell again. Come on! I am only human, but what I believe is that I am taking the steps to see God remove the anger and trusting him for miracles. 

I heard my girls in the living room watching TV. Instead of joining them I  set in my bed and God REMINDED me of How faithful he was and will be.   It was kind of like that song Carrie Underwood sings “REMIND ME” I needed a reminder from God.  Each day he has reminded me of how he has been faithful to Cort and I and the girls.

One of the biggest miracles I experienced from  God being faithful to me happened when I had turned a notice in to leave a job. I needed and desired a flexible schedule since I was a single full-time mom to Rielly.

 For so long, I was so focus on making life better for her that she became second, third out of my desire to making her the number one.  I was trying to go to college full-time, work a full-time job, study and there was no manual for this 17 year old girl to figure out how to juggle. I thank God that I had family who helped me. But the biggest miracle I received occurred when I was 18 years old.  I had just left a good paying job because my pastor had advised me and said it is time to put Rielly first. A lot of crazy things were happening in my life and I felt like Dorthy caught up in the tornado. 

 My parents had separated, and  I was engaged to a wonderful man.  I can remember that week, month and year as if it was just yesterday.  I would put Rielly to bed and then begin to cry. Lord, give me a job. I want nothing more than to help this child be a better person than me.  However, God had a different plan he had a plan that was to give me back the time the enemy had stolen from me.  I cried every night because I knew I was about to lose my car, my house and probably be on the street with a baby.    God did not allow that to happen. The coolest thing without going into tons of detail I saw God provide big time and he taught me through this experience it was ok to trust him and trust Cort.

 While I was getting comfortable with trusting Cort. God reminded me that ultimately he is in control and my provider.  I was down to my last meal, last diaper and Cort’s checks had not come in from that months invoices we  had sent out.  I did not want to put the pressure on him  so I looked at Rielly and said, “Baby girl it is time to pray. I was already trying not to eat as much as usually to ensure that she would have enough. But the truth was we had just had our last meal, and I used the last pull- up that night. I was brutally honest with her and said, " We need God to provide for us Rielly."  She and her child like faith said, " Well let’s pray Mommy." So we did .

Not a word was spoken to anyone but Rielly, me and God it was Saturday night at 12:00 midnight.  We both prayed for easy mac, a loaf of bread, pull ups, a watermelon, and then she asked God for some toys.  Then with ever once of our being we went to bed knowing that God was going to take care of us. Sunday morning Cort arrived at our apartment to pick me us up for church. When he came in he said, This was on your front steps this morning. I looked at Rielly and she at me. She was totally pysch because she had some new toys, Easy Mac, Bread, pull-ups and even a watermelon.  I was speechless! Which does not happen often.  I watched God do that over and over again in that season.

 Through my parents separation my car got sold, and at the time was a huge slap to me because I had been paying the car payment, and had been for a while. Yet never saw any of the money from the sell of the car. Yet God was teaching me, that he will provide for me, and I was learning to be humbled and not full of pride. The next day, after my car was picked up I received a phone call from Papaw. “Hey! Tiffy I just wanted to call you up and let you know I have a car for sale.  I knew at the time I only had maybe $5.00 to my name. So I said Ok Papaw how much you selling it for. Papaw told me the price I wanted to sell it for this, but I felt like I was suppose to offer it to you for $1.00 or so.” my Papaw said.  Now, while most of you are thinking wow this is great. It was great! But at the same time it was a humbling experience because this is the car was the same car  I would tell my Mamaw to park at the end of the street at CHS and I would walk down to her.  This car which I grew to love very deeply was the color of brown doodoo and was longer than a school bus. So it was kind of a bittersweet moment.  However, I will tell you it did not take long to grow to have a love for that car.  

Theses are just some of the stories and memories that flooded my mind as I laid in my bed and went through the list of times God was faithful to me. 

I am telling you all this because now I find myself in the same place. Since Cort and I moved back to TN I had been crying out to God since Feb 2012 that I wanted to be a full time mommy once again and wife. I did not want to be in corporate America and be the full time bread earner for our family.   Yet the dollar and cents just did not add up.  See when we moved from TX , I was the full time bread earner because it was my job that brought us back to TN. Cort had a very successful law firm and we were very comfortable where we were at. Yet God knew the desires of our hearts from when we first got married.  Cort had always told me he wanted to live in Middle, TN and raise our girls there. However, lawschool had moved us to TX. SO when we got the chance to move back and God gave us the green light we moved backed. It was not an easy move and things did not turn out like we had planned.

Now Cort has a wonderful job working as a Finical Wealth Manager and Trust Officer down town Franklin. He gets to use his law degree to help families which he loves, and if you are looking for one of those. Let me be the first to say- He is your man!

At then end of summer, God gave Cort and I the strength through a difficult circumstance to say Our family is more important than money, and we were not going to let a job destroy our family.  So setting in a Starbucks with one of my close friends after a morning of very heated discussion with one another. Cort and I took the  steps to turn my  notice in. A good friend of ours Adam Engle who was also my boss at the time will never know how much he means to our family, and  what a huge part he played in bringing us home, and even getting me back in the house to be that full time mommy I so desired.   I know with out a doubt I was suppose to work that job and God used that job to bring about lasting eternity changes. IF it was not for the month in Feb I spent with a friend traveling I am not sure what would have occurred for good friend of mine that was a confessed atheist who now is a born again Christian! The truth of the matter is if Adam  never brought me to work for him, that life would not have changed. I am in awe of Gods details. 

  So again, I find myself almost 12 years later having the desire of being a full time mommy again having to trust God with my  family which is much larger now, but this time knowing that my heritage with the Lord is that of him always coming through, and handing the reins of providing for our family back to Cort. Knowing that it might be the 11^th hour, but my God is faithful, and Cort is a man I can trust.

So my two cent’s today is: God is faithful. If you are going through something look back and remind yourself of where he has taken you in the past and what He has done for you in the past. While it might be a on a larger scale this time  I can rest in knowing the larger scale is so Cort and I can see we need God  just as much as we did,  and the miracle is on the way!

Love y'all!

Tiffany Bethmann