Restart that "Stinking Thinking"

Have you ever had one of those weeks, months, days where you felt like  nothing was working out for you?  Sure you have! We all have had those moments.

So what do we do? How can we get over those moments where we feel as if nothing is changing?  Where do we put our faith in action at that moment?  What  can  we do to get the train back on the tracks?

First, I think you have to look at what you are thinking about.  Are we thinking with "stinking thinking thoughts"  or are focusing on those affirmations that lift us up? I don't know about you but it always seems to start with a tiny thought of doubt, or what if I do this.... and then the avalanche of cra cra starts flowing. You have heard it from the young age. What you think about comes about!  Why is that? Well its simple.  All our battles begin in our minds. Our minds are powerful!  If  you dwell on it. The human mind will find away to make it happen.  Why do you think we are seeing an increase in divorces due to porn in America.  It's simple its because the image is put out there, and thought about, dreamed about, allowed to grow rapid. The so call fantasy world slowly trickles into the minds until those thoughts begin to be put into actions. I don't have a son myself, but I do have daughters, and watching what society tells them they have to act like to get a boy is enough to make me sick!

If you want to do a 180 in your thinking area and see major change then it will all begin when those "stinking thinking" thoughts begin to slip into your mind.  Don't you dare dwell on it for one second! I love the song... "be careful little eyes what you see because the father up above is looking down below."  

 You counter act all the negative, lies, and  stressful thoughts that race through your mind  with truth. When a thought comes in your mind that is not good, or going to cause damage.  It is simple we  have to do these 2 things.

1. Quote the word.
    
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

2. Pray. Then leave it up to God.

If we want to see things change for us  and begin to see those mountains move  and miracles flow, then we have to  get a hold of our mind, our thoughts, and truly think on what is good, noble, and just.

Mirror Mirror On the Wall....

Sometimes it is easier to point the finger at others and play the blame game when things don't go as plan, or blow up like a dynamite stick.   This week has been a very trying yet rewarding week both emotionally and professionally.  I hope hearing my personal  story will encourage you to Be Bold. Because Better Things are coming we just have to excel and breathe in.

When we purposefully  begin to look for God in areas of our lives,  whether in  situations we can't control, decisions, how others are acting towards us, heck even just waking up in the morning. Basically, if you are breathing God is in the details of your life.    God has always been into the details of our lives I just picture his office to look nothing like mine, but more like the Container Store Mixed with a Day Planner with labels and everything crisps and clean.  Most of us want to  hide our junk, stuff some of those details,  even bury them hoping they never surface again. Because burying them is easier than facing them.  Yet sometimes, God has to hold a mirror up for us and wait for us to notice.   With a simple prayer, 10 years ago of  God fix me. Change me completely I don't want the easy band aid kind of fix. I want you to get ever ounce of yucky out! I want the lasting fix not the quick fix.  At the time, when I wrote that prayer in my prayer  journal. I truly thought it would be answered with the wave of the magic wand  I would be changed.  Yet I didn't want my change to only last to the strike of midnight I wanted it to last until I took my last breathe.      

Being a wife,  mom of three, and running my own successful growing business life can become overwhelming pretty fast, and sometimes a massive juggling act. As you can imagine, I get plenty of opportunity too well go off the deep end and loose it or get worked up, and well most the time I do!  I am very passionate person. Which isn't a bad thing when channeled the right way, but when a passionate person begins to channel that passion in a destructive way not only do they get hurt, but those closest around them get hurt! Passionate people are your typical go getters, I can take on the world and will defeat them all!  If you had to put a phase to my childhood on how I was raised I would say it probably would have to be, "If your going to do it! Do it and Do it Big! I still think my family got robbed. We should have been the family to cash in on the  "Get ur Done Campaign" ! 

While I love what I do more than probably any individual on earth.  I see my titles as wife, mom, and Realtor more as a calling instead of a duty. It is so rewarding!  However, with all I got going on, I need  a little  "ME TIME" ever now and then so I can distress which normally takes place  at 2:45 am.  Like right now, it is 1:21 am, and I am distressing and love that I don't have 8 text messages waiting on me and 29 emails, and 4 voices mails and phone ringing, and  a  child wanting me to cook.

  Now, in case you are considering trying the "Tiffany- ME Time Way"  Make sure my fellow Southern Belles  remember this advice. Be aware that the chances of you going from Sweet as Pie Southern Belle to Ghetto Super star can happen before you can say "Bless your Heart".  Lord, help the person who puts you on that stage. 

 When we buckle down and get serious about  truly seeking God and looking  for ways  and opportunities we are going to come face to face with what He is trying to teach us.  Maybe, it comes  by the behavior of others in a situation, or thru being treated in a way that unnerves you to the point that normally you would be ready to bust out the can of Whoop Ass,  and fire back at them. This time instead of  looking in the mirror and seeing your reflection. Stop, and  take time to look into the Mirror and see yourself  the way God sees ya.  Keep in mind, this is not your typical does my booty look good in these jeans mirror looking while throwing on your red high shoes.   I am talking about its that moment you so desperately stare into that mirror,   and  your face is broken out and looking like a Vietnam and that dag-gone mirror is telling you everything you don't want to come face to face with mirror looking. 

Its natural for us at first to become unnerved, shaken even rattled.  Tonight, I came face to face with one of those Man in the Mirror moments, but God is so into the details of our lives that he began to lay the foundation for this particular lesson several years ago, and yet he held the mirror up for me in the most unlikely way.   The prep work for my life in this issue had been laying out over years. Jesus was in the process of taking those ingredients  to that   melt in your mouth hot slice of buttered covered Banana Bread kind of finish product.  

Our Saturday, started out pretty typical! With a kid busting in the room at 6:00 am.

With Kailee Grace saying, " Hey guys! You up?"  Nothing like a kid to kick start your only "sleep in day"  Note to self.... Lock bedroom door on Friday Nights!  

Ran some errands, and chatted it up with a stranger over the phone who had called me.  Little did I know, that phone call would be like the last 20 yards to the marathon finish line of taking a look into the mirror.  The small talk conversation turned into  a moment of  do I step out and share with him what I feel lead to say?  I mean really, God? I got a good thing going here! He is comfortable, conversation is going well, and you want me to be like that socially awkward person.  Great! Perfect! This day keeps getting better.  Maybe I need to just push the RESTART Button this day because we are not even to lunch yet! 

 Then I thought back on the week I had. When someone stepped up and spoke into my life and encouraged me.  They had no clue that 2 days before, I  had lost it on one of the girls, and then on my Momma and I was still carrying around the frustration of the unresolved issue. I was mad at myself for losing it, and frustrated that I had absolutely no control or way to fix the damage, yet had to carry on with life because there was no time for a pitty party I had to put my big girl panties on and keep on smiling and writing offers and dealing with inspections.  

 I want to make sure that you have a clear picture as to the magnitude of  the  LOST IT phrase! I mean  LIKE GHETTO SUPER STAR LOST IT STEROIDS STYLE mixed in with a little bit of Hillbilly Redneck. Hopefully, that makes it clear as mud.   I am sure you get what I am saying. 

However, I couldn't shake it off.  One, Two days go by and I decided I needed some "Tiffany Time". Finally, everyone went to sleep, and I began to chill but in a productive way. Because I was going to paint some curtains my latest pintrest find/ project.  While I was listening to the sounds of the distant faded crickets sounds that resonate through the windows from outside,   I knew I did some major damage to my family, and well truthfully received some as well.  Still frustrated, I began to pray because I always feel better after I pray.  So I started getting my Jesus on. I prayed  my little booty off making sure I was dotting the eyes and crossing the Ts in my prayer, to painting red stripes on project.  I so was mad at my actions from earlier in the week, yet still upset because I felt I was being wronged, and knowing I wronged them, and I had no time machine that could take me back in time so I could change my actions and reactions.  I channeled my best Yoga Mindset which is a challenge because I typically am that person who gets the whole Yoga Room Laughing. 

Surprisingly enough tonight,  I was the Sensei of Yoga Mindset. Minus  the ringing of the bell stuff they do that is suppose to calm your nerves,  but scares  you to death. Why they think that is relaxing is beyond me.    As I  watched the  brush dip into the  paint, and then slowly dragged the  brush across the canvas  making sure my  strokes would be perfection. Because no one wants to end up with a Pintrest Fail.   The red paint over took  the fibers of  the white cloth, slowly yet methodically. My Yoga Mindset was reaching it's peak I was as peaceful as the willow  tree gently tossed in the wind.    This was like a YOGA Milestone for me!  I made it literally 15 min without my mind going 900 ways, and running through an action list of to dos. It HIT ME like a ton of bricks.  I don't need to have the perfect prayer, this is not on my shoulders, I can't fix this situation. Heck, I can't fix half the things I try to fix, but with each stroke I was reminded of who could fix this mess, and it became clear to me what I had to do. 

So I said, "God, you sent your son and while I am  painting red stripes on this cloth.  It is astonishing how the  red  is  overtaking the  cloth covering ever fiber.  I am reminded that your word is clear and says, " By His Stripes I am Healed"   You showed me unspeakable grace. I didn't deserve it, and yet you gave it to me freely.  Why do I not do that for others? 

OH MY STARS!  Seriously???? It's that simple!    With the Red Stripes I just painted glaring back at me as if they were the air-stripes  runway flare lights  shining bright to guide the pilots in for landing. Two  seconds later...this phrase popped into my mind. Your Kingdom COME, and Your Will be DONE.  It seemed to simple.   Could those eight words be the landing spot I needed to land on?  By uttering those words, I was becoming the co-pilot and putting God in the pilot seat. I was giving myself permission to not fix it, and removing the pressure, anxiety and fear that I was facing. 

I just knew I could not hold back, what if...the man on the other side of the phone talking truly needed to be encouraged?  I couldn't hold back anymore, I dove right in and began to share with him. 

Now,  if that wasn't enough. Literally six hours later,  I was finishing up a deal, and as most of us know, buying a home and selling a home can be an emotional process.  Usually, those that become the most emotional and well basically go off the deep end, or  are on the edge of the cliff ready to jump,  until we Realtors help calm them down are the buyers and sellers. Heck! I was one of those emotional buyers myself. For most Americans its the largest purchase they will ever make. If that is not enough pressure in itself. Normally, buying and selling a house is not all that is going on in a persons life.  

So you can imagine my surprise, when I had a Realtor literally loose his well.... you know what I am talking about.  At first, my natural reaction was...." OH NO HE DIDN'T... Has this man lost his ever lasting mind!!!???!! Normally, it would take me 2.4 seconds to unleash the  Southern Belle Red Neck Hillbilly Ghetto Super Star you messed with the wrong chick.

Something switch to the earlier conversation I had with the stranger,  and remembering the advice I had freely given earlier.  I had a choice I was starring in the Mirror on the Wall. What would I decide to have staring back at me?  Ghetto Super Star Hot Mess, or would I try to show Grace and look more like an enchanted sweet fairy.   

Now don't get me wrong! I am not Mother Teresa over here. I went from being a little angry bird venting to Cort, pacing,  and smiling trying to channel my Yoga Mindset and not allow  him to pull me into his emotional party.  Yet I was determined,  to not be pulled into the Crazy Cycle this time.  So I made sure, I didn't get pulled in.

 Changing normally is a process and takes time and patience and a don't quit attitude. While I would love to say I got the easy pass and BOOM! I got it. I know I have a long road ahead. But just like   I was determined to look into that Mirror today. I am going to be purposeful as Michael Jackson lyrics say it best.. in his song Man in the Mirror  .  Don't forget, Tackle each day, if I fall down. I will shake it off and stand back up because change and being who God has created you to be brings freedom!

Man in the Mirror

I'm starting with the man in the mirror

I'm asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you want to make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

My Two Cents: Stop Take a Look, Decided  is the Change Worth it for you? To have real change you have to give something up! Send up a prayer knowing that  patience persistence and perseverance is required to make that change! 

Crazy Little Thing Called Love.....

Crazy Little Thing Called Love....

 Kailee Grace moved up from coach pitch to fast pitch softball. She thought it was going to be a walk in the park. She was so excited to go to the ballpark to meet her new Coach and team. Cort had taken her to go get all her new equipment that the coach requested his team to wear. They had spent hours at Academy selecting the right helmet, practice pants,  bat, and glove. Honestly, this thought makes me giggle a little bit because my husband has the patience of Job, but any trip shopping with Kailee Grace is more like you are looking for the undiscovered buried  Nazi Gold in Lake Toplitz, Austria.  However, when her daddy told her she would be wearing  the "face protection", she was completely against it. The face mask felt awkward , uncomfortable and far from the fashion statements she likes to make. In reality the mask  was  not at all what she suspected it to feel like.

 After the first practice, watching several of her friends step up to bat and get beamed in the leg she looked at me with crocodile tears racing down her cheek.  She refused to get in the batter box to hit the box because what her eyes and mind was telling her was that she was only going to get hurt. 

Why is it that so many people have in their minds that love should be easy and like a fairy tale?  At some point in our marriage we girls have all mumbled the words...."Marriage...shouldn't be this hard".  Why is it that we believe this thing called love is so hard after we say I do? 

From a very young age we dream of our happily ever after, when our prince charming will run in and sweep us off our feet. I don't know about you, but I can remember watching Cinderella and picturing that one day my prince my soul mate  would come and sweep me off my feet.

The funny thing about this is I think we girls think there is just that one person out there for us to marry, and that our Prince Charming  will perfectly met our needs and wants exactly the way we want.  I jumped on the soul mate band wagon. You have heard the saying, "Don't drink the kool aide" well this chick took a big gulp of it.   This idea or moral premise could not be further from the truth. The older I get the more I realize that in reality we always marry the wrong person. I know some of you are already thinking... I did not marry the wrong person. Take a chill pill for a moment, and let me try to break this down for you. 

What I am trying to say is  that  when we pick our spouse we say I Do on how they treat us, how they act and who they are right then and there. We dismiss the idea that they will change and we will change.  The idea that if  they change or circumstances change  they will no longer fit our "idea of the prince charming".  We all change from the day we say I Do. So our perfect soul mate turns into the perfect counterfeit mate. Now let's pause a moment. I am not saying at all that you have married the wrong person. I am just trying to say that we all have different ideas of what marriage will look and feel like, and have to learn to adapt. 

So what do you do after you find out that your Prince Charming is not in reality your Prince Charming? Because Prince Charming actually wants you to put the dishes in the dish washer in certain places, or that Prince Charming wants to watch football instead of watching chick flicks. Then Prince Charming and Cinderella start having babies and those babies grow up and cause some problems in the Kingdom of Happy Ever After, or even worst tragedy hits in some kind of shape or form. 

 Do you leave the ballgame? Run to the nearest divorce attorney, or do you die to your wants and needs and learn that marriage is truly not about your happiness all the time and more about your holiness. Now, before you start reading into this post thinking Tiffany is wanting to leave Cort, or oh no what is happen to them?  Take a deep breath! We are good honestly probably the best we ever have been. While Cort might not live up to my Prince Charming ideas, I for sure don't live up to his babe quiet loving wife. However, the bottom line  is at some point you realized your  fairy tales is not turning out exactly the way either of you imagined it to be. You have two options.  

1. Do what society says do... Move on there is someone better out there. 

2. Realize that you  have an amazing relationship with another Human Being one that is closer than any other Human Relationship you will ever have. It might be laced with a little bit of crazy, and dysfunction, but it is also laced with two people who love each other for who they are in the good,bad, and the ugly times. You  both are far from each others Happy Ever After, but who really defined the so call "Happy Ever After"? 

So next time you want to utter the phrases like... Why is Love so Hard, or This is not what I deserve.  Remember no one said Marriage would be Easy.  So take a step back and think, no one is perfect, but remind yourself that you are with  exactly who you want to do life with. Sure they  drive me a little batty and always second guess me, sing in the shower, and dance a little crazy, but I am defining my Happy Ever After.

So my Two Cent's of the Day:

Always climb into the batters box, don't let fear grip you because to become a Major League Star you have to be willing to take a hit or two. The pain only last for a moment, but a joy last a lifetime! Marriage might be hard, but Marriage can be Amazing! So embrace this thing called love! You are never ready for the crazy! 

I love you Cort Bethmann. You drive me crazy, but I love you even those things did not turn out to be my happy ever little after ideas. I would take this crazy ride with you again! 

The Shoes of Life

Shoes of Life 

Jamie yelled from the other side of the pond!  HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM! GET OVER HERE NOW! I could tell by my little sister’s tone that what just happened on her side of the pond was not good.  I made a mad dash through the tall cat tail grass and around the corner to the far side of the pond.  As we both watched her brand new leather shoe sinking to the bottom of Granny Bea and Papaw’s catfish pond. Jamie was grasping wildly trying to grab it before it sank.  Without hesitation I said, really? We just got those yesterday! Mom is going to have a cow.  How did you let that happen? She responded, “ Your really not helping the situation out at the moment. However, remember that  bright idea of yours tying our shoes the trendy way instead of the old fashion way. Now are you going to get to problem solving mode or set her and preach  to me the B attitudes of wish I... should of'.... could of ”

 OK ok… So feeling a little bit like this was now my fault.  I got down on my knees next to her. I told Jamie to get up from where she was on her stomach desperately trying to fish out the shoe.

 “Don’t you dare let me fall into that water!  Ok?”  Laying horizontally to the pond, and placing trust into my little sister holding one arm and one leg and leveraging my body to keep me from falling.  Jamie said, “Good grief, Tiffany I already stuck my hand into the water. Now get my shoe. After changing and adapting ourselves several times we finally found the position that gave us the advantage on the situation.   I began to stick my hand down as far as I could into the muddy yucky nasty man eating catfish pond in hopes of “rescuing the shoe”.  Together after 15 minutes of carefully positioning ourselves we fished out the brown leather shoe that decided to go Awah.

All of us face situation that we have to adapt to accomplish our goals, and our challenges.  With those goals and challenges we must all embrace one key trait. Can you guess what that trait is?  You got it! Courage!

To exceed in life we must all embrace some level of courage. We have to face the fear of failures, be willing to stick our hands in muddy waters of life in hopes of pulling out that so called shoe or goal we are striving to achieve. 

Think about exercising courage as if you were playing a game of  Mother may I. Some of us are asked to take giant leaps of faith while others get 10 baby steps. While some are just stinking lucky and get to leap frog over the yucky stuff and never have to walk through it. Life is not fair by any means.

Jeremiah 15:19 gives us a hidden treasure that we must take Courage to “extract the precious from the worthless.” This is a great verse to mediate on when you are in the process of going for a goal because you will have moments where you have to overcome your frustrations and your own negative thoughts that will try to paralyze you by saying it is just too muddy? What if you get hurt? Or even worst what if you don't accomplish the goal at all?  I know I have personally  battled those thoughts lately myself. The truth is in every situation even those times we think doing these things that seem worthless and waste of our time. We truly are shaping our lives and forming them into precious moments, by just walking by faith and courage in the muddy waters of life in hopes of victory and reaching that shoe!

Our shoes can be different things to us. Some of us are reaching for that shoe of Success, while others are reaching for the Shoe of happiness. Some of us are even reaching for that shoe to prove to the world they got what it takes.  Jobs, Family, Marriage, Success  we all have different shoes we are desperately trying to reach. No matter what shoe you are reaching for in life. You will always have to face the muddy water where you have to reach for the shoe. It is in the moments we are reaching we must remember to push through the task that seem worthless  to extract the precious.  

So my two cent’s worth of the day is this: If we take a mindset that would be a mindset of Courage nothing could stop us. We were all created to be Exceptional. We have to have the courage to be different.  Even when that different is uncomfortable because when we get uncomfortable and push ourselves into the unclear muddy waters we rely on our faith to carry us and operating in that type of faith is when we extract the precious. 

Spread a Little LOVE TODAY!

The three most precious things in life to me are my daughters.  But today my little Chaise melted my heart just a little.  It was a typical Bethmann morning for the girls. I had finished making smoothies for their breakfast.  Sent Rielly out the door with her ride,  and was serving  the two little girls up with some smoothies while we watched  a television evangelist.

Chaise was reclined on the sofa with her smoothie when she let the berry filled smoothie dribble down her neon orange brand new shirt. She was devastated! Luckily I had my wonder woman costume under my pjs.

I quickly assessed the situation like any good ER nurse would and said Chaise I am going to need to preform some surgery on your shirt with some Shout and will have it good as new before the bus arrives.  I was back in my bathroom blow drying the shirt dry when she came in. I announced to her, " Chaise, it is as good as new!"  With the most melt your heart puppy dog eyes she said, Mommy I don't know what I would do without you!

Funny how our kids have a way of making us feel important by just needing us. I think the same is true with our Heavenly Father.

Well as a mother of three girls, my jobs is to show them by example and hopefully when I breath my last breathe they will remember the things I taught them.  From the saving the day before school tricks, look people in the eye when you speak, take time to read their name tags to show the check out lady she is important,  to simply believing the best when it seems there is no hope. Spreading a little love and hope will go along way, but if you leave it behind to our children it will go a lot longer. Keep in mind with out Love we can do NOTHING!  So show some love to someone today, even the person who doesn't deserve it because they need it the most!

Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Friendly Salsa Dip

Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Friendly Salsa

I am always on the search for healthy yummy recipes that will keep me feeling great and keep us all in shape!  Those of you who know me well know without a doubt when it comes to cooking  I am no Martha Stewart.  Cooking totally does not come natural to me by any stretch. However this is a 100% dummy proof recipe and takes less than 10 minutes to make. My kind of cooking!  But the best part of it is you can still wear your favorite yellow polka dot bikini and not feel guilty eating something that taste so yummy. 

Black Bean & Corn Salsa 
1 can black beans, rinsed
1 can corn, rinsed
3 Roma tomatoes, chopped
4 green onions, chopped
2 avocados, chopped
1/4 cup red onion, chopped
1/4-1/2 fat free Italian dressing
Jalapeno, chopped (opt)
Cilantro, chopped

Combine all chopped ingredients and mix together in a bowl, add Italian dressing.  Serve with chips totally optional  It is also great alone! 

Becoming the Expert!

Today, was turning out to be another typical day. Got up did the whole dog and pony show of getting dressed, started a load of laundry, read my devotion, and  answered some emails. It is amazing how quickly we can revert into the daily routines and become bogged down with the daily grind before we know it we look up and it is 10:26 am and we are thinking where did the time just go?

I have always had the attitude of I want to be the best, second is not good enough for me. Maybe that has  a lot to do with being the first borne child.  Lately, I have been trying to become the "expert" in a particular area of my life.  I have always been a huge advocate of praying and journal.  So it is funny when, you come across something and it is clear as day and you had only shared it with you, your journal, and the big man upstairs.

 We all have areas that we would like to be the so call "experts" in.

1.Inventing a Device that will save the worlds water supply
2. Best Body
3. Raises the smartest kids alive.
4. The Fashion Diva
5. The Next Paula Dean

It could be even something as simple as. Respecting your husband and loving your children. Whatever it is don't give up on becoming that expert,or maybe you have never done an life inventory. If not I encourage you to think about it. There is something that you have secretly unawarely set your eyes out to be the expert in. Most of the time  it is not that we want to be the expert for others, but just the expert in our own minds.  Because in  our minds if we  are the expert we are well doing it the best and most efficient way possible.

I know it seems crazy that we would kid ourselves to  think that with a snap of a finger we could hear something and BOOM become the expert on this issue.

It is not a bad thing for us to desire something and want to be the expert in that area. I actually think it is a good goal to have. However, we must always give ourselves the permission to become the "Beginner" before we can actually be the " Expert".

We have to be able to not hold ourselves to the level of being a Mount Everest Climber if we are truly just about to take our first hike.  It takes time to build and become what God wants and desires for our lives and what we want and desire for our lives.

So when you start to hold yourselves to the crazy level of an Expert just remind yourself that all Experts had to be the Beginner.  Today, I was pinned these words in my journal.    So my two cent's of the day is:

God is more interested in your growth than what you are going through. Trails will change forms and manifest themselves in different ways. However, until we get the growth God desires we will never become the EXPERTS! Don't allow fears, others smart remarks, the lies of they will never change.  We must never let   challenges paralyze us.  You are More than a Conqueror and you will be formed into the Expert at the Correct Time. Maybe not mine but when the transformation is completed you will not have to announce it others will be drawn to you to learn.   You got to start somewhere!!! To be great we must become the student not the instructor first.  So start growing your courage and become one step closer to being the EXPERT TODAY!

I hope those words help you!  Remember, Life is short.  Have the goal of becoming the Expert in something! Because you were designed for GREATNESS!!!!