Summertime always brings back memories of the pool and
having the sunkisssed skin, and having those big blow ups to float around in the pool on. Back in the Summer of 1997, I met the most amazing hot sexy lifeguard with one glance my heart melted. I would rate it up there with watching the Top Gun volley ball scene. You know what I am talking about ladies! Those hot bodies of Mavrick, Goose and Ice man on that hot summer day! I had been asked by my mom, but really with no other option but to do what she had asked to take my sister and some of our friends to the pool. Of course, I was a little aggravated because like most
women and girls I was not too excited to be having to put the dreaded bathing
suit on. After, trying at least ten suits and checking myself out in the mirror nothing seemed to be looking like I wanted it too. Finally, I settled on the black one with the mesh at the top.
Jamie my little sister’s friend had a membership to this pool called Robindale. The neat thing was that she could have guest come for free. So we loaded up my Saturn which looked more like a
clown mobile due to all the pool bags, noodles and people situated inside. Finally, we made the 15 minute drive to the pool and we all began to unload fast and make our way in.
I began to take a step into the pool floor and as I was walking down the stairs my eye’s met the lifeguard on duties eyes. I thought to myself look-- Oh girl look at that body. I must be staring at a body of a god. Then, could not believe I decided on the bathing suit I had chosen. But before the girls settled on a seat where we would have our stuff. I quickly went into strategic thinking mode, I was able to convince
everyone we should set our stuff on the right side of the pool because it looked like the sun was hitting over there better. Well, at least that is what they all thought, but I was setting it up to where at some point he would have to speak to me, and well at the least notice me. Now the funny odd thing is that I did not want to date him at all, I just wanted to know in my mind that I still had it going on because at this point I was trying to instill confidence in myself.
It did not take long at all. He started drumming up
conversation with me and smiling and joking with me. He mentioned he would be
off the stand in about 20 minutes. Hmmm I started thinking to myself about 5
minutes before he was to get off the stand, I would like to become better friends with this guy. So I was able to get a boys vs girls
game of keep away going, Brilliant plan might I ask because as soon as he got
off he jumped in and joined in and happened to guard me. Well, for those of you who know me well I love
some good ole’ fashion competition. Turned out he was competitive by nature as
well. We laughed giggled and had a blast! It was at that moment that I developed the best friendship of my life.
Now I am proud to announce I have been married to that hot
sexy life guard for 11 years now. I am in love with him more today than the day I promised to love him through the good and the bad. He is still my best friend Now don’t get me wrong like every marriage we
have had seasons of not loving each other, thinking man this should get easier,even to the point of planning escape plans. Yet, despite the tough times we have both stayed the course and decieded that there is absolutely NO OTHER SPOUSE for us on the face of this earth. You can mark it down that I would never ever be able to love another human being the way I love this man.
I
have been thinking a lot over the past two weeks about my husband and how crazy
our lives are with the girls schedules, and then I just got off the phone with
one of my girlfriends who was telling me how she desperately needed a date
night with her husband just could not figure out when to do it because of the kids
schedules. I totally understood where she was coming from with busy schedules. I started thinking back to how busy I was when I meet Cort. I was
going to school full time, working full time and dealing with everything a
single mom has on her plate. I thought
to myself..... You know it is all about priorities. I have to make sure my life priorities are looking like this: GOD, CORT, and then the Girls.
When Cort and I started to date we made a way found a way to
see eachother. Well, nothing is
different now sure we have both walked through life and it has brought us seasons of joy and hurts for us, but the
same is still true. I love Cort, and I want to be the women he loves and cherishes
and enjoys coming home to. So to do that and be that for him I am going to have to purpose in my heart to campout on this for a moment. I
am about to become very vulnerable and transparent because I feel as if others
lives will be touch by me becoming a glass house.
I have not always been great at respecting my Cort. If truth be known, I probably fail at it more times than any other women would and should. Sure
I thought I respected him, but my definition of respect and his definition did
not always see eye to eye, and still don't always see eye to eye. Instead of “submitting” to his idea I tend to let him know his was wrong and mine was right. By either giving him those "Go to H- E- DOUBLE L eyes, or just out flat yelling and getting angry, and letting him know how he did not love me. Don’t judge me!!! You know you have done it
also. I spent years praying for God to
resurrect his love for me and take back the words I said that caused him
hurt, and bring down the walls that were put up to protect him. See ladies, the one thing I did not
realize is that praying to change him and not truly focusing in on trying to change me still kept my tongue and my words for bringing the healing for him and I. Instead of using my words to build Cort up, I
did the exact opposite. I am so grateful to say that my husband is truly a
godly man because despite the hurt I caused him he stuck and stayed. I am humbled by that kind of sacrifice and loyalty he has for me.
Lately, I am learning that it is not Cort that needed the
changing it is me. Years of hurt that we both had to walk through from choices that others brought into our lives and some of our own doing. I am learning that the heartbeat of my family is me. Oddly
enough, when I push through and try to bring positivity into the house our
family functions better. I have had to come with the grips that I will mess up I am not perfect, I had to give myself permission that I will screw up and God will put back the pieces. All I have to do is begin to get my priorities back in order, and well at least give it a try even if I totally mess it up!
I have started asking
God why is it that we women have to be the ones that keep everyone going and
happy, and it hit me today when I was praying on my armor with the girls, and putting on my sassy
breast plate of righteousness this morning. I felt this in my spirit… “You are the heart
of this family, Cort is the head.”
Driving back I started thinking about that the heart of this family, and
not the head. I started talking it out. Praise God! That people looking in my car probably thought I was on the speaker phone, or else they would have looked for the nearest "funny farm" to sign me up for. I know I am not the head of this family
I mean why I would think that I am. I
started realizing that over the past 5 years I had mentally put myself in the
mindset of making sure I provided and everything that needed to work out I
would make it happen no matter what the cost, I began to recall the things I thought in my mind and how I stopped being the person who pumped life into my family with my words, and had become the source that sucked the life out of our family by letting the stress effect me. See Cort's shoulders are a lot tougher and can hold a lot more than mine ever will. The heart is the vital organ that keeps the blood flowing. We as women keep the blood flowing. Kailee told me this past Saturday, "Mommy when you were yelling Go girl! You can do it! It made her proud and want to score more goals. She ended up scoring 7 goals." That is just one example of pumping the blood into the family!
As women our jobs whether we are working or staying at home
should be creating a safe haven for our families to be in. Our homes are those
safe havens. You better believe I took time this morning to pray through this house and ask God to create a safe haven and help me to be the heart that functions well and not put my family in cardiac arrest. It is our jobs to be the one to breathe life into our kids and
pump them up with joy and encouragement just like it is for us to do that for
our marriages.
I want to challenge all of us for the next couple of months
to start being the heart beat of our marriages and begin to pumping NEW LIFE into them by bring some
FRESH love. So over the next couple of months start flirting with your man. I
use to think it was Cort’s job to be romantic and flirt with me. Don’t get me
wrong I married Romeo himself, but when you show your man that he is still your
Knight and your Romeo you are sending him the message of you are loyal to him
and him alone.
Here are a couple of
ways/suggestions that when our schedules are full with kids and life how you
can begin to flirt with your man.
1. 1. Send him
a “visual Invitation” Maybe it is a picture of the shower, your car, or your bedroom, it could even be the restaurant your family is going to tonight. Just simple send the picture and text him. You
+ Me = Tonight
2. 2. Catch him off guard and share with him a desire a dream even the word we ladies tend to never say: A FANTASY. You could start it off like.......If money
was not an option, I would take you to Jamaica and kiss you under the waterfalls and wrap my body up in your arm........... Who
knows what kind of laughs and giggles and dreams you will come up together
with.
3. 3. If your husband comes home after it is late,
maybe simple have a note on the door he enters saying. “You are my hero! Thanks
for working”
4. 4. Another fun and easy thing to do is make a
coupon book that they can redeem even if you are with the kids.
A.
Massaging your feet
B.
You watch the football game and I will make your
favorite: ________________
C.
You + Me watching a movie you pic
No matter what girls! Do not let the enemy tell you that you
have no time to date your husband because that is a LIE. We are creative human beings, and think back
to when you first met your man. You flirted with that hot man that you now call your husband. So why on earth would you not flirt with him and “date” him that
way now. I know for some of you this might be hard. But girls get in touch with that "wild spontaneous side" :) LOL Just remember that your husband is worth
finding time for.
My two cent’s of the day is: FLIRT WITH YOUR MAN, and Be
Creative When you flirt with him you are making deposits in his love account and you will be creating a healthy relationship and pumping life back into the family and not only will you both reap the benefits BUT your whole family will.
I love you girls! Have a blast flirting!
Tiffany
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